nice777guy

I really hate saying this, but last night was one of the first times in the process where I've felt like a loser.

I've heard other people talk about feeling this way. And I know I wasn't the perfect husband. But I still look at the person my wife has become over the last two years - and can't imagine NOT divorcing her. Bike rallys, tattoos, iPhone/Facebook/flirting addictions, sleeping all day when she could be spending time with the kids - etc., etc.

I've also tried to be positive and look at the overall marriage as a mostly successful experience. Will be 17 years in December - divorce will hopefully be DONE in January. And the first 15 years were good. I'm proud of that. These last two have been so incredibly lousy - but they don't wipe out all of the good things that have happened.

Just didn't look like a realy happy or lively bunch there last night. And maybe it got me to thinking about things I haven't focused on yet.

For example - I really don't have much in terms of family - or friends. I'm kind of expecting this year that I will be included in my wife's family's holidays just like every other year. But after that...I have no clue where I might spend Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.

So - I think I'm throwing myself a pity party today. And the great news is that you're all invited.

__________________
“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity!" - Carlin

827Aug

I remember going to out first court mandated parenting class. It was rather depressing--definitely no one overjoyed to be there.

Even if the parenting classes do make us see the negative side of divorce, sometimes remaining in a hopeless situation is even more negative. After being separated almost four years I can finally see the positive side of my situation. For example, I now enjoy a nice, quiet house. Furthermore, I don't have to endure Christmas with the in-laws fighting over something trivial. Now that I think about it the positives outweigh the negatives. Hopefully you will see that as time passes. Hold off on the pity party!

Fortunately I have a lot of family to be with during the holidays--and it helps. And all the pets also keep me company. You may want to reach out to family members and friends you lost contact with. Also, hopefully you will make a lot of new friends as you begin life on a new path.

Hang in there!

nice777guy

I think I'm allowed a pity party every now and then - I just can't make it a regular thing. Most days I think I'm doing OK.

Thanks for the pep talk!

__________________
“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity!" - Carlin

nice777guy

And now - off to night number 2!!!

__________________
“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity!" - Carlin