Yeah that's right, after 29 years my wife wants a divorce. The reason she gives is that she wants to discover herself again. She says that she has spent her entire life worrying about what the kids and I want and need that she has forgotten about herself. Plus there are the usual reasons, not enough time spent together, not enough attention paid to her, etc. Which is false, because almost all our free time is spent together doing things each other likes. Travel, shopping, weekends away together, or just sitting the front deck talking together.
Now the next part of this. Six months ago she met an old male friend on Facebook. They were good friends in jr high and part of highschool. Nothing sexual then, and since he lives 2500 miles away, and has his own wife and kids, nothing sexual now, but they do spend a lot of time chatting.
After my wife said she wanted a divorce, I went and saw a counselor. I was told that even though they are not sleeping together, my wife is having what is called an emotional affair. The counselor said that talking to this guy makes her feel like that young independent girl of so many years ago. She remembers an earlier fun time, a time before kids, mortgages, and a husband. The counselor said that these chats create a euphoric feeling almost like being in love and, that after a while my wife starts to long for the past that she thinks she missed and starts to resent the present, which includes me.
We have a 17 year old daughter, and even though my wife wants a divorce, she wants to remain living with me, (separate rooms) until my daughter turns 18, then get a civil quickie divorce since we live in a no fault state. She also said I can have the marital home, and that she has no intention of putting me in the poor house.
I don't think I can live together as room mates for the next year. Financially it would help a lot, but how can I go from being crazy in love with my wife to living as roomies? She says she still loves me, and that I am a great man. We still have dinner together as a family and my wife and I still hang out on our days off. The only thing missing is sex and intimate contact like hugs and kisses.
Along with feeling like my heart is breaking, this is driving me crazy. I have been thinking of asking her to move out while she decides when to divorce, but I want to keep things civil, and I don't want to lose my home. I have consulted with a lawyer and have him on hold for now.
I really love my wife, and there is a big hole in my chest right now. I keep hoping she will wake up, but I fear that it is over.
Now the next part of this. Six months ago she met an old male friend on Facebook. They were good friends in jr high and part of highschool. Nothing sexual then, and since he lives 2500 miles away, and has his own wife and kids, nothing sexual now, but they do spend a lot of time chatting.
After my wife said she wanted a divorce, I went and saw a counselor. I was told that even though they are not sleeping together, my wife is having what is called an emotional affair. The counselor said that talking to this guy makes her feel like that young independent girl of so many years ago. She remembers an earlier fun time, a time before kids, mortgages, and a husband. The counselor said that these chats create a euphoric feeling almost like being in love and, that after a while my wife starts to long for the past that she thinks she missed and starts to resent the present, which includes me.
We have a 17 year old daughter, and even though my wife wants a divorce, she wants to remain living with me, (separate rooms) until my daughter turns 18, then get a civil quickie divorce since we live in a no fault state. She also said I can have the marital home, and that she has no intention of putting me in the poor house.
I don't think I can live together as room mates for the next year. Financially it would help a lot, but how can I go from being crazy in love with my wife to living as roomies? She says she still loves me, and that I am a great man. We still have dinner together as a family and my wife and I still hang out on our days off. The only thing missing is sex and intimate contact like hugs and kisses.
Along with feeling like my heart is breaking, this is driving me crazy. I have been thinking of asking her to move out while she decides when to divorce, but I want to keep things civil, and I don't want to lose my home. I have consulted with a lawyer and have him on hold for now.
I really love my wife, and there is a big hole in my chest right now. I keep hoping she will wake up, but I fear that it is over.