Re: Wife wants to separate
OP, you are experiencing "hysterical bonding". I know, because I did. And it is EXCRUCIATINGLY painful. You are holding on to that "glimmer of hope", and to be honest, that is your worst enemy.
ONLY when you ACCEPT that your wife doesn't love you anymore and there's nothing you can do about it, and that you MUST move on, will you begin to heal from this.
There is nothing that you, ESPECIALLY YOU, can do to make your wife fall in love with you again. This single worst possible thing you can do right now is the hysterical bonding thing. It will literally REPULSE her. IT did mine. They hate that crap, and the pressure will drive them away. But stop caring whether it does or not. I know it's hard. I know this is soul crushing and you don't want to wake up to the nightmare every morning. But as soon as you accept that your life is going to change, and embrace that change, you will start feeling better.
That's the goal I have for you, to start feeling better instead of being totally miserable. Nobody should have to endure the kind of pain you're feeling. I hope you accept she's gone soon. I know it took me several months, and they were the worst months of my entire life. I lost 35 lbs. in 2 months from not eating--- because I didn't want to eat. I was just crushed.
You probably think your life is just f'd now. I promise you it isn't. Your life will be fine when you release your feelings for her and move forward. There are lots and lots of other women. You will find one that loves you and respects you. Don't be afraid of the future. It's going to get better---once you accept what's happened and that there's not a damn thing you can do about it.
Please, don't chase her. Move on in your mind. She's still cheating, you know she is, and she's NOT going to stop just because she should or because you want her to. And logic will not phase her. NOthing you can say or do will change the fact that she is screwed up in the head by this guy. ANything you try will be thought of by her as you trying to control her. You can't nice her back, you can't logic her back, you can't un-nice her back. She is not coming back mentally, and that's what you want. You can't have it. Accept it. You will be happy again.