Re: Mixed signals and false starts
So since my probably misguided decision to contact her on her birthday/Christmas, my STBXW and I have had no contact.
One thing that really bothers me is that the day she got back and yesterday, she used her spousal membership at the yoga studio for whom I work as a producer and editor. Before she filed, I knew she was taking classes for free because of my employment but I was okay with it. Now, I'm thinking it's just tacky and wrong. I could go to HR and get her cut off, but that could lead to unwanted and negative interactions between her and me and I really don't want that.
My question is, how long should I wait for her to set up a time and place I can meet with her process server before I initiate that conversation? I won't lie, I'm still a wreck over this and trying to come to some sort of acceptance so doing so would be really hard for me at this time. I was thinking I'd wait until the middle of next week and then write to her with a time and place of my own choosing along with telling her that we need to discuss separating the ways in which we're still entwined (health insurance, car insurance, cellphone plan etc.).
Do you all think that's a reasonable amount of time? I know that a lot you are likely to say, "Just write her this second!", but I'm honestly not in best the frame of mind to do that right now (it's been less than a week since I found out). I also want to be as friendly and understanding as possible so I can look back at how I handled this with pride.
Ugh, I know this will feel better one day but I wish it would come ASAP.