Re: Mixed signals and false starts
I think you have given your STBX more than enough chances to come around and that she is an emotional vampire sucking you dry.
But, if you feel you absolutely have to do this meeting face to face, I would keep it simple. "Is divorce really what you want? I don't want to play games. Honestly, this is not what I want, but if divorce is what you think you need, I will give it to you. I just hope you realize that we are not going to be friends in the future, and if it is up to me, when the judge closes the book on us, I hope to never see or hear from you again, ever."
If she says yes to the D, then give her what she says she wants and follow through on your promise. Get the D done as quickly as you can, to your best advantage, and go black hole on her.