honey28

In the midst of trying to work our marriage out we went on a vacation and were intimate on Christmas night and now i'm pregnant. I took the test almost jokingly b/c my period was a day late...but it's positive (I took two EPT digital read test), this will be child #4 and our youngest is 10 months and the oldest is 5. Please read the post below (i posted it yesterday prior to this newfound information). He was here when I took the test and said "this definitely complicates things" proceeded to eat his breakfast, and went to sleep (he worked overnight).

I must have been an EVIL person in my past life!

Post from yesterday:
Short version:
Been together for nearly 10 years, since we were both about 20. Found out he was cheating about 6 months ago, he had an emotional affair w/ one of my "closest friends" and was inappropriate w/ several other women, cheated while i was pregnant, even claims that one person gave him oral sex. He was devastated when I found out, begged for the family, begged for another chance, claimed to be suicidal at the thought of losing his family and our life/lifestyle, went to counseling, got on anti-depressants, started going to church, etc... I had a really difficult time moving forward and wasn't always engaged in the healing process b/c I was so hurt. Now I have "come around" and I'm really trying to repair the marriage. Now he says he's tired of trying, when he was trying I wasn't, and that while I wasn't engaged in the process he did some soul searching and realizes that he is miserable, that's why he cheated. He wants to be single and free, he doesn't want to answer to anyone about anything. Also says the marriage was a mistake and he was too young to get married, he wants to date and have fun now since he traded his 20's in to be married. He will still be there for the kids (10mo, 3yrs, 5.5 yrs old), but feels that marriage in general and being w/ me is holding him back from all of the experiences that life has to offer. I cannot believe this is the person I married, he was never so selfish and callous. I don't know what to do!!! Now I feel like a fool for giving him a chance. He says he knows there are no guarantees in life, but if he stays w/ me he will definitely be miserable but if he takes a chance on his own maybe he'll find happiness. This is all surreal to me, please help!!!

swedish

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. Please don't feel like a fool for trying to make this marriage work. You have children together and were absolutely doing the best you could for your family. It's a shame he seemed to be making progress and then did a total backslide. In his current state of mind, I'm not sure what you could do to encourage him to change his mind, but for you and your kids I hope you are able to find some happiness for yourself. Spend time with people you are close to and try to do things that you enjoy, let him look after the kids on those days since he wants to be there for them and give him a taste of life without you...and let him see that you are doing ok...in fact that you are doing great without him...he may not change his mind, but it will probably get him thinking and hopefully at that point, you will have done some thinking too, that you might be more happy w/o him.

olivebaby

Holy cow, your situation is beyond devastating to state the obvious and to say the least.

I can relate to the feeling of "I must have been an evil person in my other life."

Have you seen a counselor on your own or have a support system who can help you find the strength to have this baby and move on from him? If he doesn't change his tune and leaves that is... do you even want this to work now that he has shown this wild streak?

It never ceases to amaze me how you can marry one person and wake up to a complete stranger in this life.

Frostflower

He's in for a real shock when he finds out what a dent support for four kids and a wife will put on his dating and having fun! Find out what your rights are and hold him to his responsibilities.

Take care of yourself.

PBear

Zombie thread alert... The original one started 3 years ago...

C