Re: She threw me out, won´t talk, filed for divorce
Help! I just keep feeling worse every day. It's so hard getting out of bed in the morning. I feel nauseous every morning. I have lost 10 lbs in 6 weeks.
I just feel so bad that she used me to get what she wanted and keep the house. I just can't get out of my head they are having sex on my bed in my house and that she is so excited and lets him touch her like she didn' t let me for years.
I've been left here alone with no home to pick up the pieces. Divorce is far from final.
I feel sick.
How did you get over this? Posted via Mobile Device
Re: She threw me out, won´t talk, filed for divorce
As time goes by the truth keeps revealing and it hurts more. The OM posted some pictures on FB of them together at a wedding and they were all over each other. It made my stomach turn.
I know the OM (friend of stbxw) and even went to his wedding. They never stopped talking to each other.
He was her first boyfriend when they were 12. Turns out he has been divorced for two years, has a 4 y.o. kid and as of now unemployed since being laid off in july.
In an e-mail addressed to one of her friends, stbxw now believes that she is divorcing me because she was destined to be with the OM. She thinks he is even better looking and that he is so loving and thoughtful with her, unlike me of course. She now thinks I'm an idiot and can't wait to get rid of me.
She is afraid of telling her family about her relationship with the OM, but she will do it when we are finally divorced.
Last time I spoke with stbxw she told me we should divorce while she still cares and has some respect...I have a hard time understanding the meaning of her "diminishing" care and respect for me. It does sound like a thinly veiled threat.
What kind of future does she think she has with the OM being divorced, unemployed and with a kid?. Is she in some kind of fog?.
Re: She threw me out, won´t talk, filed for divorce
Quote:
Originally Posted by vickyyy
Stop behaving like a doormat.MAN UP.
I think u really lack self esteem, your wife treating u like a sh1t and u just expect her to come back to u.
Hate to say it man, because I feel so damn bad for you, but I agree with vickyyy....I can't really say on here what your posts have made me feel about your stbxw, but you are absolutely waaaay better off without her. She is the type of person that no matter where she is, what she's doing, or who she is with, she will never be happy....
Re: She threw me out, won´t talk, filed for divorce
Sorry man...as she's swept up with the new man, you will become the epitome of every negative male trait...as far as she believes and tells her friends/family. She has to justify this to herself and everyone else.
Why did you move out? Because she pays a higher share of the bills? Would you be able to afford it if you lived there alone? If so (and you want the house), move back in and tell her to get out as long as she's seeing the OM she doesn't have a place in your marital house.
The fact that OM is her childhood boyfriend makes this harder, as her family may be more accepting of him even though he and your wife actively betrayed your marriage. If it was just "some guy" that she was cheating with to end your marriage, they may shun him, but this guy may have the inside track. That said, the fact she is afraid to tell her family about seeing OM tells us that she knows it's wrong and fears their reaction.
Get back in your house, agree to the divorce anytime she mentions it, don't beg/cry/reason with her about your marriage. Just say you don't feel like talking about it and man up as much as possible. You're in good shape? Get pumped. See your therapist, work on you. Assume that your wife is gone, as much as that hurts. She wants to screw up her life and support her old boyfriend and his kid? Let her.
Hang in there, it gets better. Posted via Mobile Device
Re: She threw me out, won´t talk, filed for divorce
Tell her family about the OM. Move back into the house if your name is on the deed. She's just flinging about in a wild fashion because you let her. Life is fun right now for her, but the reality will hit one day and she will realize what she's done.
Re: She threw me out, won´t talk, filed for divorce
Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenEyes
Hate to say it man, because I feel so damn bad for you, but I agree with vickyyy....I can't really say on here what your posts have made me feel about your stbxw, but you are absolutely waaaay better off without her. She is the type of person that no matter where she is, what she's doing, or who she is with, she will never be happy....
get back to house and expose the affair to her family.
You have nothing to loose.
Re: She threw me out, won´t talk, filed for divorce
Get back into your house. See a lawyer to back up your right to be there.
They are no doubt using your house as a cosy place to carry on the affair, and it gives her a nice way to hide it.
But you are partially financing the affair by letting her kick you out. You are spending $$ to live elsewhere to make her affair easier.
If she leaves to live with OM, it will both expose the whole thing to people. It will also force her to confront the reality of what it will be like when everything isn't done on her schedule.
Re: She threw me out, won´t talk, filed for divorce
In my case I have no intention of leaving what I consider my house Backed up by blasts of david byrne if talking heads saying " my house!" from burning down the house - that's to back up the fact that I have paid the all mortgage, elect, water, phone ect bills she is using it as her launch pad for her cheating ways why the hell should I leave? no fy-ing way! neither should you unless she pays the bills why did you leave?? Posted via Mobile Device
Re: She threw me out, won´t talk, filed for divorce
Why is she doing this?. STBX keeps flaunting the OM. OM keeps posting pictures in FB of them together and she comments that he is so handsome (regular looking guy IMO).
When I knew the OM is divorced, has a 4 y.o. kid and was laid of his job in July, I initially felt relief that she could not get a better man than myself.
But as the days go by, this has shaken me to my very foundation as a man and made me deeply question what I have to offer to a woman. She just left me for the OM.
I somehow could understand her behavior if the OM was better looking or better off in life than myself. What does she see in him?. Why did she reject me?.
I can honestly tell you that she was sexually satisfied and sex in our marriage was better for her than it was for me. I sometimes thought about cheating but couldn't bring myself to it out of respect for my wife.
She told one of her friends that our marriage was bad from the start and that she kept trying to make it better. She was sad and in pain for a long time and when she decided to end it she made the decision to take whatever life gave her and just be happy.
Our marriage was far from perfect, but she never would have left if it wasn't for the OM.
I keep trying to establish some kind of communication with her hoping to end our marriage in peace with a sincere conversation on what went wrong and so we can say our goodbyes.
She's just responding to my e-mails when I make her feel guilty and put her down.
I don't understand why she wants to hurt me as badly as she can. Maybe it's because she is 37 and her biological is ticking and she waited for me so long. I don't know.
Why is she infatuated with the OM? Posted via Mobile Device
Re: She threw me out, won´t talk, filed for divorce
Quote:
Originally Posted by hamati
Why is she infatuated with the OM? Posted via Mobile Device
You will NEVER know. Why does it matter now anyway? She had made her choice. You can not change her mind. Move on dude, its the best thing for you. Focus on yourself and forget about her. She is not the woman you knew, she is someone else now. Be grateful that you did not have kids with this person. When there are kids involved in your situation it makes everything 10x worse!
Re: She threw me out, won´t talk, filed for divorce
I know that inspite of everything she has done, deep in my heart I long for her to be back with me. Is this normal?. It's been only two months.
Before me she had a relationship with a much older divorced man that hurt her bad, he left her for another girl that he later married and what hurt my stbxw most was that he didn't even answer the phone. He just disappeared.
This is how my stbxw is acting with me now. I have tried to talk with her to get closure and come to a divorce agreement, she won't even pickup or answer my emails.
I have a job, a family and friends that support me. But I feel so empty and alone, I want my wife and my life back.
I know that inspite of everything she has done, deep in my heart I long for her to be back with me. Is this normal?. It's been only two months.
Before me she had a relationship with a much older divorced man that hurt her bad, he left her for another girl that he later married and what hurt my stbxw most was that he didn't even answer the phone. He just disappeared.
This is how my stbxw is acting with me now. I have tried to talk with her to get closure and come to a divorce agreement, she won't even pickup or answer my emails.
I have a job, a family and friends that support me. But I feel so empty and alone, I want my wife and my life back.
The wife you knew is dead. This new person is a hostile stranger that merely looks like the wife you once had. Do not forget this. Read up on the 180 and put it into practice. Read up on Manning up and follow the advice. Grow a pair! Protect yourself because this hostile stranger will do you harm. Move back in and have her move out. Good luck. Posted via Mobile Device
Re: She threw me out, won´t talk, filed for divorce
Hamati my friend i am so sorry for what went on but seriously your words seems you still love and want her.... Living like this stressful and with pain can cause your health down etc. Don't take her emails or phone calls just live your life dude MOVE ON... Cheers
Re: She threw me out, won´t talk, filed for divorce 
