Has anyone else on here chosen legal separation instead of divorced? - Talk About Marriage
Going Through Divorce or Separation A new addition to our forums, a place to go for sharing and support for those going through divorce and separation.

User Tag List

 7Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-20-2016, 09:09 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 257
Has anyone else on here chosen legal separation instead of divorced?

I chose this option with STBXH blessing because I needed the medical and dental insurance. I haven't worked in over 22 years. Until I get back on my feet, this was the option that worked best. My options to get insurance on my own were awful. And, cobra was ridiculously expensive. If it wasn't for that, I certainly would have opted for divorce.

How is it working out for you? Any regrets with this option? My attorney is currently working on the paperwork for legal separation and he will be served soon.

prunus is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-20-2016, 09:20 AM
Forum Supporter
 
arbitrator's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Central Texas/Brazos Valley
Posts: 11,511
Cool Re: Has anyone else on here chosen legal separation instead of divorced?

I've always heard of it, but alas, I never got to use it as there is no such thing under the Texas Family Code!

Best of luck to you!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html
arbitrator is offline  
post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-20-2016, 09:31 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 257
Re: Has anyone else on here chosen legal separation instead of divorced?

Quote:
Originally Posted by arbitrator View Post
I've always heard of it, but alas, I never got to use it as there is no such thing under the Texas Family Code!

Best of luck to you!
Yes, only some states allow it.

Thank you!
prunus is offline  
 
post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old 01-24-2017, 03:50 AM
Member
 
camerashy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 199
Re: Has anyone else on here chosen legal separation instead of divorced?

Hi OP

My H and I (separated) are going to pursue a legal separation rather than divorce at this stage. We have not made this decision for financial reasons but rather that I don't think either of us are comfortable with saying the word "divorced" yet.

I've been called an "idiot" over this many times.

I don't know how I feel about it, if its going to work, or what is going to happen when he meets someone else and wants to get remarried - but for now it's what is on the cards.
camerashy is offline  
post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old 01-26-2017, 12:21 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 66
Re: Has anyone else on here chosen legal separation instead of divorced?

I wish my state had this option. I also don't want to leave my wife without health insurance. She is in a similar situation to you after a 20 year marriage. At the same time she has treated me terribly, evicting me with a trumped up PFA. Right now I can't do anything about the other financial issues, yet I don't want to escalate the cruelty by doing things that will hurt her badly. Glad you can take advantage of that option and start your new lives with some clear boundaries.
mjsquatch is offline  
post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old 01-28-2017, 03:37 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 257
Re: Has anyone else on here chosen legal separation instead of divorced?

Quote:
Originally Posted by camerashy View Post
Hi OP

My H and I (separated) are going to pursue a legal separation rather than divorce at this stage. We have not made this decision for financial reasons but rather that I don't think either of us are comfortable with saying the word "divorced" yet.

I've been called an "idiot" over this many times.

I don't know how I feel about it, if its going to work, or what is going to happen when he meets someone else and wants to get remarried - but for now it's what is on the cards.
Why have you been called an idiot?
prunus is offline  
post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old 01-28-2017, 08:21 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,754
Re: Has anyone else on here chosen legal separation instead of divorced?

This is ok if neither of you wants to met someone else, but if you do, you need to know that many who are looking for a serious relationship/marriage will not want to date a married person, especially one who wont get divorced so that they can marry. If you are both happy to remain single, then thats fine.

Last edited by Diana7; 01-28-2017 at 10:26 AM.
Diana7 is offline  
post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old 01-28-2017, 08:54 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 257
Re: Has anyone else on here chosen legal separation instead of divorced?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
This is ok if neither of you wants to met someone else, but if you do, you need to know that many who are looking for a serious relationship/marriage will not want to date a married person, especially one who wont get divorced so that they can marry. If you are both happy to remain single, then thats fine.
It's almost a done deal, so no more thinking about it. We're just waiting for it to be finalized. We've both signed. I have zero interest in dating someone. The thought is scary. He says he isn't interested, either. If at any point he wants to remarry, I have no problem divorcing him. It would be rotten of me not to.
prunus is offline  
post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old 01-28-2017, 10:28 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,754
Re: Has anyone else on here chosen legal separation instead of divorced?

Quote:
Originally Posted by prunus View Post
It's almost a done deal, so no more thinking about it. We're just waiting for it to be finalized. We've both signed. I have zero interest in dating someone. The thought is scary. He says he isn't interested, either. If at any point he wants to remarry, I have no problem divorcing him. It would be rotten of me not to.
It was years before I dated again, but after 6 years I met my now husband.
Personally I wouldn't want to live in that sort of limbo, but its your choice.
Diana7 is offline  
post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old 01-28-2017, 10:31 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 257
Re: Has anyone else on here chosen legal separation instead of divorced?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
It was years before I dated again, but after 6 years I met my now husband.
Personally I wouldn't want to live in that sort of limbo, but its your choice.
I'm in a lot less limbo than I was while we lived under the same roof.

prunus is offline  
post #11 of 18 (permalink) Old 01-28-2017, 10:43 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,754
Re: Has anyone else on here chosen legal separation instead of divorced?

Quote:
Originally Posted by prunus View Post
I'm in a lot less limbo than I was while we lived under the same roof.
Well you are married but not living as if you are married.
My former husband suggested that we stayed legally married until one of us met someone else. I said no, if the marriage is over its over, and I wanted to be able to move on and the marriage be over legally.
Diana7 is offline  
post #12 of 18 (permalink) Old 01-28-2017, 10:46 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 257
Re: Has anyone else on here chosen legal separation instead of divorced?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
Well you are married but not living as if you are married.
My former husband suggested that we stayed legally married until one of us met someone else. I said no, if the marriage is over its over, and I wanted to be able to move on and the marriage be over legally.
We will be legally separated (and yes, I realize that also means legally married) and that's what was needed for me to keep the health and dental insurance. It works for us and that's all that really matters.
prunus is offline  
post #13 of 18 (permalink) Old 01-30-2017, 11:57 AM
Member
 
ResignedWife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 71
Re: Has anyone else on here chosen legal separation instead of divorced?

We are doing a legal separation with a mediator, since our state requires one year separation prior to filing for a no-fault divorce. But we'll be creating our entire divorce plan via the legal separation so that the divorce is basically just a matter of filing the paperwork at the "one year and one day" mark and waiting for a judge to sign off on it.

We're not doing it for insurance reasons though, since he is covered by his job while the kids and I are covered on mine.
ResignedWife is offline  
post #14 of 18 (permalink) Old 01-30-2017, 12:02 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,754
Re: Has anyone else on here chosen legal separation instead of divorced?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ResignedWife View Post
We are doing a legal separation with a mediator, since our state requires one year separation prior to filing for a no-fault divorce. But we'll be creating our entire divorce plan via the legal separation so that the divorce is basically just a matter of filing the paperwork at the "one year and one day" mark and waiting for a judge to sign off on it.

We're not doing it for insurance reasons though, since he is covered by his job while the kids and I are covered on mine.
I was separated for 2 years before I filed for divorce. I didn't see the point of a legal separation.
Diana7 is offline  
post #15 of 18 (permalink) Old 01-30-2017, 01:15 PM
Member
 
ResignedWife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 71
Re: Has anyone else on here chosen legal separation instead of divorced?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
I was separated for 2 years before I filed for divorce. I didn't see the point of a legal separation.
I don't know if kids were involved in your divorce, but they are in ours, and so we're doing a legal separation in order to have a solid parenting plan in place, as well as decisions about the marital home (which we're selling).
ResignedWife is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment arbitrator Going Through Divorce or Separation 633 03-31-2017 08:56 AM
I signed an unfair separation agreement! Manchester Going Through Divorce or Separation 139 11-29-2016 01:57 PM
Financial separation...chosen in therapy? DustyDog Financial Problems in Marriage 0 07-30-2016 03:45 PM
Legal Separation then possible divorce in NY Almost-Done Considering Divorce or Separation 12 03-11-2016 07:22 PM
TN legal separation stuff Honda750 Going Through Divorce or Separation 1 12-04-2015 09:06 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome