madaboutlove

OK, give me credit here. My STBXH wanted to come to the house we used to share, to help my sons and I put up our Christmas tree. Also wanted to come to my sister's house on Christmas eve and come here Christmas morning. I was tempted to go along, for our kids (22 and 24). Then I woke up from my nightmare, realized this is my life, the life he chose for us and I decided he didn't want to be with me on our anniversary, Thanksgiving and he doesn't get to eat his cake on Christmas. We did it without him. It was a hard day, but now I can say I have done it already once. Next Christmas won't be the first without him. I have been pretending he is mine by letting him in the picture whenever he wanted. I was worried it was hurting our kids by excluding him, I was wrong, it was hurting me letting him in. I told the kids, I can't do half a husband, it hurts too much when he leaves again. I put all his ornaments in a bag, put them away. I decided to post this, because what I really wanted to do was text him and tell him that this sucks, he is really screwing up but I am done with that.

that_girl

I wouldn't let him come. That's the life he chose. Sucks to be him.

If he wants a Christmas with the kids, he can do it on his time. Don't let him ruin your holiday.

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madaboutlove

Oh, I didn't. The boys and I got the tree today. I sent him a text letting him know he was out. I am not getting involved in how he plans to see the kids. He can figure that out.

that_girl

Good for you.

It blows my mind how these people think they can have their way and that life will go on 'normal' for them.

Screw that crap. NEXT!

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madaboutlove

My SIL says tell him the cake is all gone!

nickiblue

i like that

your kids are 22 and 24. they understand what is going on and they are old enough to put up a tree without their dad.

if they want to see their father at christmas im sure they can make arrangements to go round for 1 hour, or on 26th, so that you don't have to spend the day with him.

im not looking forward to christmas this year either
all the best no matter what you decide

lisa3girls

Good for you.. no cake eating allowed here either.

madaboutlove

It has taken me almost a year to realize that what he said is true, he wants a divorce and I need to stand on my own two feet and make a new life. Lucky to have great kids and family and friends, cause it has been h*ll. But now the first Christmas is almost here and I am hosting a party at our family home this weekend. Got almost all my shopping done. And I have no reason to see him until we go to court!

CLucas976

That's the spirit!

hosting get togethers always helps, and it's a great distraction from what's going on inside your head too. I think that's why my Thanksgiving was so big this year but it helps to remind you there are other people in your life who matter

madaboutlove

Party is shaping up for tomorrow night, the house looks great. I am going to focus on that. Of course, the paperwork from Family Court came today with our court date for the divorce. It is not until the end of January, but I was hoping to ignore it until the holidays were over. Oh well, its just the court date, doesn't change anything. I am going to be a single woman for the first time in 28 years soon. I make my own choices now.