Message I want to send
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Old 12-11-2011, 11:00 PM   #1 (permalink)
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OK, give me credit here. My STBXH wanted to come to the house we used to share, to help my sons and I put up our Christmas tree. Also wanted to come to my sister's house on Christmas eve and come here Christmas morning. I was tempted to go along, for our kids (22 and 24). Then I woke up from my nightmare, realized this is my life, the life he chose for us and I decided he didn't want to be with me on our anniversary, Thanksgiving and he doesn't get to eat his cake on Christmas. We did it without him. It was a hard day, but now I can say I have done it already once. Next Christmas won't be the first without him. I have been pretending he is mine by letting him in the picture whenever he wanted. I was worried it was hurting our kids by excluding him, I was wrong, it was hurting me letting him in. I told the kids, I can't do half a husband, it hurts too much when he leaves again. I put all his ornaments in a bag, put them away. I decided to post this, because what I really wanted to do was text him and tell him that this sucks, he is really screwing up but I am done with that.
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Old 12-11-2011, 11:08 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I wouldn't let him come. That's the life he chose. Sucks to be him.

If he wants a Christmas with the kids, he can do it on his time. Don't let him ruin your holiday.
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Old 12-11-2011, 11:18 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Oh, I didn't. The boys and I got the tree today. I sent him a text letting him know he was out. I am not getting involved in how he plans to see the kids. He can figure that out.
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Old 12-11-2011, 11:21 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Good for you.

It blows my mind how these people think they can have their way and that life will go on 'normal' for them.

Screw that crap. NEXT!
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Old 12-11-2011, 11:23 PM   #5 (permalink)
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My SIL says tell him the cake is all gone!
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Old 12-12-2011, 06:01 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by madaboutlove View Post
My SIL says tell him the cake is all gone!
i like that

your kids are 22 and 24. they understand what is going on and they are old enough to put up a tree without their dad.

if they want to see their father at christmas im sure they can make arrangements to go round for 1 hour, or on 26th, so that you don't have to spend the day with him.

im not looking forward to christmas this year either
all the best no matter what you decide
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Old 12-12-2011, 09:51 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Good for you.. no cake eating allowed here either.
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Old 12-12-2011, 10:23 PM   #8 (permalink)
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It has taken me almost a year to realize that what he said is true, he wants a divorce and I need to stand on my own two feet and make a new life. Lucky to have great kids and family and friends, cause it has been h*ll. But now the first Christmas is almost here and I am hosting a party at our family home this weekend. Got almost all my shopping done. And I have no reason to see him until we go to court!
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Old 12-13-2011, 10:56 AM   #9 (permalink)
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It has taken me almost a year to realize that what he said is true, he wants a divorce and I need to stand on my own two feet and make a new life. Lucky to have great kids and family and friends, cause it has been h*ll. But now the first Christmas is almost here and I am hosting a party at our family home this weekend. Got almost all my shopping done. And I have no reason to see him until we go to court!
That's the spirit!

hosting get togethers always helps, and it's a great distraction from what's going on inside your head too. I think that's why my Thanksgiving was so big this year but it helps to remind you there are other people in your life who matter
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Old 12-16-2011, 11:13 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Party is shaping up for tomorrow night, the house looks great. I am going to focus on that. Of course, the paperwork from Family Court came today with our court date for the divorce. It is not until the end of January, but I was hoping to ignore it until the holidays were over. Oh well, its just the court date, doesn't change anything. I am going to be a single woman for the first time in 28 years soon. I make my own choices now.
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