Message I want to send
OK, give me credit here. My STBXH wanted to come to the house we used to share, to help my sons and I put up our Christmas tree. Also wanted to come to my sister's house on Christmas eve and come here Christmas morning. I was tempted to go along, for our kids (22 and 24). Then I woke up from my nightmare, realized this is my life, the life he chose for us and I decided he didn't want to be with me on our anniversary, Thanksgiving and he doesn't get to eat his cake on Christmas. We did it without him. It was a hard day, but now I can say I have done it already once. Next Christmas won't be the first without him. I have been pretending he is mine by letting him in the picture whenever he wanted. I was worried it was hurting our kids by excluding him, I was wrong, it was hurting me letting him in. I told the kids, I can't do half a husband, it hurts too much when he leaves again. I put all his ornaments in a bag, put them away. I decided to post this, because what I really wanted to do was text him and tell him that this sucks, he is really screwing up but I am done with that.