Wife moved out (she needs space but says she loves me?) - Page 13 - Talk About Marriage
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post #181 of 188 (permalink) Old 02-11-2017, 09:17 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Wife moved out (she needs space but says she loves me?)

I texted her........I think under the circumstances that it would be best if (son's name) and I just celebrated my Birthday. I don't want to confuse or get (son's name) hopes up.

Simple and short.

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post #182 of 188 (permalink) Old 02-11-2017, 09:20 PM
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Re: Wife moved out (she needs space but says she loves me?)

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I texted her........I think under the circumstances that it would be best if (son's name) and I just celebrated my Birthday. I don't want to confuse or get (son's name) hopes up.

Simple and short.
Well done.

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post #183 of 188 (permalink) Old 02-11-2017, 09:42 PM
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Re: Wife moved out (she needs space but says she loves me?)

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She doesn't think there is anything wrong with her. She won't get help, she hates talking to people about herself and has told me no to a MC because of that as well. In the next breath she is telling me that everything overwhelms her and she can't handle anything at the moment. She is in hiding till it goes away.....it is like she went from a 40 something to acting like a child. Crossing her arms and holding her breath. Her mood depends on which way the wind is blowing that day.
I am just sitting back at this point and enjoying the ride.....until we run out of track!!
Brain tumor?

This jumped into my mind.

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
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post #184 of 188 (permalink) Old 02-11-2017, 10:34 PM
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Re: Wife moved out (she needs space but says she loves me?)

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Originally Posted by Canada75 View Post
I texted her........I think under the circumstances that it would be best if (son's name) and I just celebrated my Birthday. I don't want to confuse or get (son's name) hopes up.

Simple and short.
Nice job. This says "I'll be fine without you". Marriage has to be 50/50 you can't fix this on your own. If you chase them they flee. The opposite attracts.

Read the link "No More Mr Nice Guy" it's short and will help reinforce the new you.

Don't be surprised at the response you're about to get. Keep your. Boundaries up. No contact unless she wants to work with you on the marriage.

Spending time alone will make you a better person no matter how this turns out just use the time wisely. Always look and smell your best around her but cut the engagement
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post #185 of 188 (permalink) Old 02-11-2017, 10:39 PM
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Re: Wife moved out (she needs space but says she loves me?)

I would make sure she understands if this goes to D you're not family anymore. No shared holiday, birthdays, etc. in order for you to have a good life she has to be separated out of it. Otherwise the static involved will just wreck any future relationships.
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post #186 of 188 (permalink) Old 02-11-2017, 11:31 PM
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Re: Wife moved out (she needs space but says she loves me?)

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k....how do I respond to the text, keeping in mind all last week we have been closer. Now I just say no. Not sure I can. I need something to say. Thinking of just asking her why she wants to be there and go from there.
you DON"T respond to her text...EVER! Unless your son is in the hospital.......You just don't get it.
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post #187 of 188 (permalink) Old 02-12-2017, 06:11 AM
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Re: Wife moved out (she needs space but says she loves me?)

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I texted her........I think under the circumstances that it would be best if (son's name) and I just celebrated my Birthday. I don't want to confuse or get (son's name) hopes up.



Simple and short.


That was perfect because it's the truth. Good job

----
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post #188 of 188 (permalink) Old 02-12-2017, 07:19 AM
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Re: Wife moved out (she needs space but says she loves me?)

I am with Gus on this one.

IMO, there is another guy. OP is being stretched out as Plan B

However, everytime Canada steps up, he steps back big time.

He is resigned to a life in limbo unless he takes care of his codependency problem.

I would suggest the book by Melodie Beattie "Codependent No More"

It has helped many people shake the abuse they receive when they think falsely that they are being 'chivalrous"

I feel badly for him but we can't act on his part. Only he can
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