Re: Wife moved out (she needs space but says she loves me?)
Why does she deserve your endless patience while she gets her sh17 together?
Because you love her?
Or because you need her and you need to fix and /or rescue her?
You are very codependent. Mixed with her depression, neither of you are going to be healed. So, you're going to have to do some hard work here, or you can waste your years hoping and praying she changes, until there's a point where she does, but it's because she finally divorces you because she had enough of living in limbo.
So, you need to learn to have enough of it first. If not for you, then for your son. Right now he's learning that if this ever happens in his marriage, he should wait around until some unknown date when his wife may or may not drop the other shoe. He's learning it's acceptable for his future wife to just up and move out of the home and live somewhere else while pretending to his own son it's only temporary.
Stop being afraid today.
Start the 180.
No more talking with her unless it's about your son, and it's logistics or a mutual decision you must make about him,or it's about finances, which you'll need to discuss separating.
Start learning about codependency. Read "Codependency No More."
Time to live like a man headed for divorce, because until she moves back in and explicitly says she wants to repair the marriage, that's what you are. And in the eyes of many courts, what she has done constitutes abandonment.
"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."
~ Abraham Maslow