My wife moved out 2 months ago into a condo she bought.(small inheritance..her mom died 3 years ago) She said she needed space and wasn't sure why she needed it...she just wanted to be alone. We have a child together and he likes having two places to stay but it is tough on him. We don't fight and talk daily. After reading all the things not to do after one's spouse leaves (i.e crying in front of her, writing letters of love, long texts etc) I have given her the space she wanted....although I said her the odd email or text about what she means to me. She said there isn't anyone else and that she just needed to get away from everything and felt overwhelmed. I have asked her to see a marriage councilor but she hates talking to people about her problems and has refused. I just started reading about "The 180" and find it hard to do because I see her almost daily and talk to her everyday as our child needs someone around before and after school. We have no set schedule as our jobs don't allow it so my son stays here some days and at my wife's other days. She doesn't ever really invite me over to her place (she says its because she knows it upsets me) which I suppose it does because she went from an inflatable mattress on the floor to having it semi furnished in those 2 months (i.e bedroom set for her and my son, couch, t.v..etc). I invite her over for dinner whenever it works out, so she eats at the house a few nights a week. We spent Christmas together and I showered her with presents, but nothing romantic or very expensive, just small stuff I knew she wanted.
So, back to the 180. How do I not come off looking cold or disinterested when I see her all the time? She knows I am lonely without her as I have told her as much a few times while feeling really down which she tells me kills her cause she doesn't mean to hurt me. We have always been each others best friend and have never really been overly social outside of our relationship. We have had our ups and downs in our relationship but I never saw this coming.....a month before she left we were looking for a bigger house to buy.
I miss her terribly and have been very understanding and patient through this process and told her I loved her and I would be here whenever she needed me...and have been when she becomes down or whatever. Some days I get the vibe she misses me and other days she is very cold. She has dealt with depression throughout her life so I am just still trying to help. Not sure if there was a question in there, but just was wondering if anyone else had some advice for me.
I have tried to get myself right and improve while she has been away...joined a gym, stopped drinking(never an issue), working on quiting smoking. I have kept our house spotless as it keeps me busy and I know she likes a clean house...But the emptiness I feel is sometimes overwhelming. I figured she is having a mid life crisis(early 40's) but I just don't know where to begin with this. She has not moved much out of the house, just what she needs, half her clothes, toiletries, jewelry....etc. We really can't afford 2 places but are getting by. We still have a joint account which our pay cheques go into and still use each others work benefits. Anyone have any experiences like this and could give me some advice it would really help.thx
So, back to the 180. How do I not come off looking cold or disinterested when I see her all the time? She knows I am lonely without her as I have told her as much a few times while feeling really down which she tells me kills her cause she doesn't mean to hurt me. We have always been each others best friend and have never really been overly social outside of our relationship. We have had our ups and downs in our relationship but I never saw this coming.....a month before she left we were looking for a bigger house to buy.
I miss her terribly and have been very understanding and patient through this process and told her I loved her and I would be here whenever she needed me...and have been when she becomes down or whatever. Some days I get the vibe she misses me and other days she is very cold. She has dealt with depression throughout her life so I am just still trying to help. Not sure if there was a question in there, but just was wondering if anyone else had some advice for me.
I have tried to get myself right and improve while she has been away...joined a gym, stopped drinking(never an issue), working on quiting smoking. I have kept our house spotless as it keeps me busy and I know she likes a clean house...But the emptiness I feel is sometimes overwhelming. I figured she is having a mid life crisis(early 40's) but I just don't know where to begin with this. She has not moved much out of the house, just what she needs, half her clothes, toiletries, jewelry....etc. We really can't afford 2 places but are getting by. We still have a joint account which our pay cheques go into and still use each others work benefits. Anyone have any experiences like this and could give me some advice it would really help.thx