Personally I want to stay in my little town. I have family here and my work very much pertains to the community I am in. I'd like to stay in this job until I have a bit more experience, before attempting to move to a bigger spot.
But yeah I think women fret a lot about their bodies and how all of that is going and that can make them panic. But I have to keep putting it out of my mind because I can't be with a man I don't trust just cause I know he'll give me a baby. So I definitely get where you're coming from @camerashy
There is also that feeling of failure. Like marriage is so often viewed as some sort of accomplishment and so when it doesn't work, it feels like a failure. That's not fair either.
And if I were to look at my friend and I as an outsider, I'd say "there's something up with those two." But it is confusing because he's very kind. Part of it, I wonder is just a difference in culture too. Although we're from the same country, he's a different race and one that tends to be a bit reserved.
Either way I know I need to swallow my fears and get all this over with. The other part is, my ex and I get along and he still wants me back but I have no trust for him and sometimes still have nightmares about the crap he put me through. I think that's a huge indication that he is not the person for me.