Social Security, Pension, Home Equity update and gripe session
I am not sure what dollar amount you would get from your ex-spouse when they retire, but you have to check. If it is like anything like Social Security, if you re-marry you do not get to participate in it's distribution to him. Check with your legal adviser. All I know the women who are taking part of their ex-spouses railroad pension and Catapillar. The the once seeking to collect their fair share of the pension is void if they re-marry; therefore, the woman had told me that they will never, ever remarry for that reason, but doesn't mean they can't be in love and have all the other benefits. You just don't remarry.
If your ex-spouse takes early retirement at 62 or 65 or later, you can claim some of their Social Security, maybe take the higher amount to equal his or hers if yours is lower, from his benefit he paid in only if you never remarry. I don't know how much money you will get for sure, it depends, your benefit may be higher than theirs. If you do tag onto his Social Security at age 62 you can only make $15000 - $18000 a year, but after age 65 you can earn is as much money you want, no penalizing limit.
If a spouse only had their name on a premarital home, and had, or chose, or then refinanced after you re-married without you. You didn't and she didn't not put your name on the title and the mortgage, as co-owner or as co-borrower THREE things can happen.
1. The judge could say you have no claim no matter if the house lost or gained equity. You will not get a dime even though the co-mingled funds went to pay the mortgage.
2. The judge may force the sale if the stay at home spouse is too old, whatever that means, has no assets and no earning potential so that he or she can get educated to find a good job if young enough. If one is older and maybe around 60 or above, the judge may force liquidation of everything to split everything 50/50, or 60/40 it all depends. The judge will not make anyone less able to support themselves in the judges decision. We may not like the decision, but just think, how far would we go. Think about the parable about the bible guy who was stopped from sacrificing his new born to GOD, or the Egyptian king saying to a divorcing couple arguing about who want's the kid more and was about to cut the baby in half.
3. The judge can say you are entitled to some equity of the premarital property home because both of you commingled income to pay the mortgage and support the household, called transmutation which makes you a co-owner because you contributed financially. It depends on state law. My wife's lawyer and my legal adviser said it is a 50/50 chance. In Illinois some get it and some don't. I guess it is up to give prove that you helped provide.
I think if you have been married twice or more, never go into a commingled financial situation , never own property with anybody, and do not enter a marriage contract, a domestic partner contract again.
It sucks not having cash to prevent oneself from not having food or not being able to pay for emergency lodging, no money to vacate if situation gets bad, and you have the slightest chance of becoming homeless. It can or will happen at least twice in you life. In addition, it sucks too if you get kicked out, divorced again and spend a lot of money for home furnishings again is rough.
After your third divorce, the divorce don't hurt. This hurts" " I can't believe I got myself in this mess again, Sh*t, I got to start over, I got no assets, and then if you have to stay in the same house at the benevolence of who filed first, and they are the sole person on the title adds fire to the situation, You can't tell the off or why you are divorcing because either spouse don't care for your reason for the divorce. They are only going by their own frame of reference and it is very hard to keep you mouth shut. It is the usual, "Who cares what you think."
We all want to tell the person how they wronged us so bad. We want be heard for once in the marriage, so we try. If trying to be heard didn't work when you are married it will not work while you are divorcing. It is best to keep it to yourself and grow to be the person you love and to become lovable again. That is the thing that makes me the most angry no matter who is at fault I want to be heard and be understood because I HAVE BEEN TELLING YOU FOR SO MANY YEARS WHAT I NEEDED AND WHERE WE NEED TO GO TO SURVIVE THIS WORLD AND GAIN A BETTER RELATIONSHIP. Oh, hitting your head against the wall for many years of discussing issues without resolution is self defeating behavior in which should have been a enough to make the cut-bait decision earlier in the marriage before you are too old.
I am joining a support group at Church this Tuesday.
Thanks for reading this novel.