Re: Help help help
If you are already past the point of separation and parenting plans, you are pretty far into this process.
If your goal is to R (Reconcile) I would absolutely accept her invite to dinner. I would also follow her lead and do dinner at your house on the flip side of the kid trade off.
Also, perhaps plan some great dates to ask her out on. Bring her flowers when you go to dinner at her place. I'm not taking expensive long stem roses every time, but just a beautiful bunch of flowers from somewhere like Trader Joe's or Costco near you. Do all you can to win her back, and hear what she said made her feel the way she does, and make those adjustments.
I hope you will be able to repair what is wrong, and reunite as a family again!