doing fine then the feelings start to arise.
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Old 12-18-2011, 12:39 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Unhappy doing fine then the feelings start to arise.

i have this thing where i do fine all day long then i start to think about my husband and how i dont know who he is anymore and how the man i married doesnt exist anymore and it breaks me down so bad, all i can think now when i see him is that hes nothing but the ghost of who my husband used to be, he has his face and his body but its not him at all.

the guy i married was the most sweet, loving, caring guy that i had ever met and to others he was seen in a different way and what was special is that he was all those things just to me and now i dont even get a text or a call and hes giving all those emotions to another women and it kills me because shes not me and now its not special between us anymore.

ive decided to cut him out of my life in someway because i dont know him and i dont like who hes become and it hurts so bad because i miss the guy i married and i feel like i wont ever see him again.

idk i guess its just this lonely feeling talking but does any one feel this way too?
like they dont know who the person they married is anymore and dont ever feel there is hope to seeing that person again?

just a sad night i guess.
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Old 12-18-2011, 12:46 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: doing fine then the feelings start to arise.

Would it help if you thought of him as dead and gone? In a very real way the man you married is.

I just don't have any advise. The grieving is a process.
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Old 12-18-2011, 12:48 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: doing fine then the feelings start to arise.

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Would it help if you thought of him as dead and gone? In a very real way the man you married is.

I just don't have any advise. The grieving is a process.
well i do think of him in this way also, i feel like im a widow in a sense because hes not here anymore.
but when i say it that way i feel like its a little harsh even tho its true lol.
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Old 12-18-2011, 01:22 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: doing fine then the feelings start to arise.

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well i do think of him in this way also, i feel like im a widow in a sense because hes not here anymore.
but when i say it that way i feel like its a little harsh even tho its true lol.
Oh I know. Sometimes it's just too much. I know that I don't have any answers tonight.
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Old 12-19-2011, 12:51 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: doing fine then the feelings start to arise.

I am in the same place.
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Old 12-19-2011, 06:05 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: doing fine then the feelings start to arise.

I use the fast forward method;

1. Focus on the source of your hurt. Ask yourself "Can I allow this feeling", or "Can I welcome this feeling".
2. "Can I let this feeling go?" Y or N
3. "Would I let this feeling go?" Y or N
4. Ask yourself "When?"
5. Examine the feeling again...does it feel different...do you feel a shift? If not, return to Step 1 and try again!

Good Luck to all of us this Xmas Season....2011 holiday will be remembered for sure....
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