I've had a fair bit on my plate the last few weeks, was taken ill at work. Went straight to the docs.. long story short I've been off with hypertension & been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes
Been taking it easy, trying to get my head around it all. Doc says both can be attributed to stress, but I have family history of both too...
Deadline has passed for me to apply for decree absolute (June 1st) not spoken to the solicitor yet. If I'm completely honest I have been putting it off, STBX-AHOLE is being relatively nice & easygoing. I could do without the drama. But I know I'll have to bite the bullet in the next week or so.
No more viewings on the house, dissappointing but well I don't know what else to do
I have no idea if he is still with her or not, but I have to assume that he is. There has been alot of "overtime" at work lately
but he has been splashing the cash on our daughter too (guilt!!??)
I'm still terrified about the future as a single mum, but hey I can't change it. I have no desire to date anyone, even flirt with anyone... I just feel like I cannot be bothered with any of that stuff right now. Too complicated
I had a long chat with my MIL on Friday, we were talking about a younger family member who is going off the rails, how they needed someone to intervene & help them or there was a likelyhood they would end up regretting it later on.. I couldn't help but draw parallels with my STBX-AHOLE and she agreed..
Said she was worried about what he was doing, practically begged me not to divorce him as I had been the best thing that ever happened to him...
It was a really difficult talk... I said that I couldn't turn a blind eye anymore.. that I have to let him make the mistake I knew he was, let him dig his own hole & find his own way out.. I couldn't keep bailing him out, that I need someone to look after me for a change. I'm tired of being the bad guy, the one who says no, the voice of reason.. the adult..
I only want to be responsible for me & my daughter..
I don't know what will happen when the divorce if finalised.. Im sure I'm in for a rough ride.. but I can't go back now.
There is no back... only forwards