Elegirl,
Already tried that, here's what I sent about 6 weeks ago, by post to her home address;
Txxx
My only reason for contacting you is to be able to move on from the current situation. You may not understand this but I no longer feel the need to vent my anger at you Txxx, as I no longer care what you and my husband get up to.
I simply want you to have no part in my life ( or my daughters for that matter) Which is why I wanted to ensure you have some idea of the current situation and expose the lies Sxxxxxx is continuing to tell to me & the rest of his family purely to protect himself.
I have had quite enough of the constant lies, denials and hypocrisy. Sxxxxxx has no intention of choosing between us, so I have done it for him. After almost 24 years together, I have filed for divorce, siting your adulterous affair as the reason. As far as I am concerned you are now quite welcome to him. Sxxxxxxx is all yours with my blessing, it needn't be a long drawn out process as long as he co-operates.
I am (so I am told) being more than reasonable over our finances & access to our daughter so Sxxxxxxx has no reason to dispute the divorce whatsoever.
Despite this Sxxxxxxx is refusing to co-operate and appears to be dragging his feet, ripping up any papers that come to him from my solicitor. He seems incapable of discussing it without getting aggressive or burying his head in the sand. Whereas I would prefer for this to be done as quickly and painlessly as possible for our daughter's sake.
I first asked Sxxxxxxx to move out 4 months ago (given that he is the adulterer & it would mean the least disruption to our daughter) yet he still stubbornly refuses.
As you can appreciate I have no desire to continue living with a pathological liar and borderline sociopath. We will both have to move out of the house sooner or later and given his continuing "relationship" with you I would have imagined he would want to move in with you as soon as possible.
His refusal to do so therefore confuses me as does his increasingly vociferous denial of your continuing adulterous relationship.
Sxxxxxx denies to this day that you are continuing your affair. He continues to tell me & his family that he has no desire to be with you. He has stated to us repeatedly that you are (and I quote) "a delusional bunny boiler" that you "won't take no for an answer".
According to Sxxxxxxx, you are not & have never been engaged. He has told his parents that, as far as he is concerned your "engagement" is a continuing figment of your imagination. Indeed, when I suggested in a text message he leave & move in with his fiance, he replied " F**K OFF... I am not with her, I have no intention ever being with her & I will never marry her & I will tell you to F**K OFF every time you say that" Charming!
Stxxxxx has managed to convince his parents and wider family that the studio portraits you had taken with him and your family at the photography Studios were photo shopped fakes, created by you and posted on Face-book as part of your delusional obsession with him and a continuing campaign to wreck our marriage. Because of this they now feel (and Sxxxxxx happily encourages them to believe) that he is also a victim in all this and that you are an inherently vile individual and quite deranged.
As I have said, this leaves me somewhat confused as he repeatedly denies you to everyone we care about at every opportunity. Even when confronted with evidence to the contrary and yet I am sure he is telling you and your family the exact opposite.
It could be purely the embarrassment and the shame of having your seedy affair exposed that is influencing his actions.
Or it could also be that I am wrong and you too have grown tired of the lies and false promises and decided to walk away and who would blame you? If you no longer want him, that could explain his reluctance to divorce or move out.
If not, then you need to talk to him. Have you never expressed a desire to be with him, out in the open in a real honest relationship? Maybe he thinks that you like being his bit on the side and that's why he's dragging his feet now & denying your "relationship"?
Either way this must be brought to a conclusion.
OK... so I understand you have no reason to believe me - but I have no reason to contact you to tell you to take him, other than to attempt to bring this sorry mess to a close.
You can of course do what you want with this information. Ignore it if you want. But I do believe that fundamentally we both want the same thing, which is for Sxxxxxx to move out.
I can only imagine the crap he has told you about me. Let me guess... I'm lazy, a bad mum, he does all the cooking cleaning washing etc? I'm pathetic and needy. He can't leave because I'm unstable and he doesn't know what I'd do? He couldn't have that on his conscience?
Whatever cliche he is telling you it's all lies. I'm not the witch he is undoubtably portraying me as, I'm a good person. I look for the good in everyone. I work hard, I cook, I clean, I have supported him physically, emotionally & financially for the past 20 years and he repays me by lying to my face and disrespecting me.
I am in no doubt that he will deny everything when you confront him and I have no doubt he will attempt to lie his way out of it (again) and fob you off with some lame excuse as to why he cant leave.
Aren't you sick of the lies yet Txxx?
I have attached copies of the texts he has sent me to corroborate my story................... The ball is now firmly in your court.
I never got a reply..
118Likes
Where to begin.... 
Now I just have to work on the more negative motivations I discovered, so that I can be in a better emotional position (ha!) for real sex, should the opportunity ever arise (ha, again!) in my life. 
