I read your post. Your husband was awful. What culture are you from? I have never heard of parents being brought into fights like this in a western family. Anyway, I know you sad but you go some really good stuff in your life ahead of you. So feel bad about today but look forward to tomorrow. At least now you know what to avoid.
Thank you for being empathetic
My marriage definitely was awful. I hated having to go back "home" when I was married because it was too stressful since 50% of the time we would be in a "fight". And even in a huge 4 bedroom house with each of us on different floors, you could feel the tension in the air. I used to sit in the library and do work to the extent I could, so that I could just go home and go to bed. On a "good day" I would rush home after work, so that I could make up/put as much time as I possibly could into "building" the relationship.
Looking back at those times and comparing that to even a bad day now, it is 100x better. I am very very glad I am out and have no doubts that I made the right choice.
I am of south asian heritage but even in my culture, this is unheard of. I grew up in South Asia and arguably was exposed to the culture far more than my spouse (who grew up in North America) was. I am not sure if he was awful or this was the only way he knew to handle disagreements/ this was HIS normal and he attributed it to culture because - well that was convenient and he thought maybe it would make me feel "guilty". I honestly don't know and 75% of the time accept that at this stage it doesn't matter. I am working on the other 25% for acceptance.
Honestly, objectively speaking I am very fortunate. I do not have kids/custody battle. I do not own joint assets. My marriage ended so quickly that it is hard for him to claim spousal support. Since my long term earning potential is 3x his, ending later would have been financially detrimental to me. By the same token, I am financially independent and didn't ever have to depend on him for any of my needs that were not emotional, which is a blessing, because I cannot imagine how much more he would bully me if I was in some way dependent on him.
When I objectively spell those out, I feel much better about my situation. However, since I am an emotional fool (which got me into this mess in the first place), I worry about the uncertainty of my future, I wish things were different etc etc. I really need to get to a better stage of acceptance. But I am glad there is this forum which "listens" to me rant about my silly emotions every now and then and offers a metaphorical shoulder to cry on.