Re: Trying to find the strength to move on
I don't see why being un happy with the way things have turned out makes you a horrible person, in my eyes that just isn't the case. The man you have brought into your life has turned things upside down for you, after being single and independent for the last twenty years suddenly your life isn't your own anymore. Don't even think of trying to make yourself change for his sake, you would just be miserable and resentful.
If his life choices are making you unhappy then you are not a good couple, it is honestly that simple. He seems to bring a lot of drama into your life, no one wants that, no need for you to feel guilty about it, you had no part in ruining his life, and there's certainly no sense in letting him ruin yours.