Re: Entering Divorce proceedings
Sucks to see you here, but there are others who have done the same thing. For me the worst was not living at home with my stbx but the day she moved out to her new house with the kids. That's when it became real.
It took a long time to get over all the feelings involved, be glad you have IC already schedule to help you. Make sure to take care of yourself as well as your kids. Work on increasing your social circle of people you can talk to (DivorceCare is not a bad place to start), work out, eat decent meals, and get plenty of sleep. I actually started to read some self help books on divorce and some on helping my kids.
Limit your conversations with your stbx to the kids and important decisions. Except for the kids, try to look at this as a business deal at this point. Keep everything emotionless and work through it step by step, like you would do a business transaction. Separate the house, belongings, and money in an equitable & fair manner. She has made it plain she is done, so don't pine away over something that is gone.
Make keeping joint custody of your kids your number 1 priority. Most states have become Dad friendly and 50/50 is pretty common, don't settle for less. There are other schedules available than 7 on 7 off, especially considering your kids are young. Look at 3/4/4/3 or 2/5/5/2 type schedules to ensure the kids get to see both parents often. We used a modified 2/5/5/2 which worked well (I have Mon-Tue, she has Wed-Thur, and we alternate Fri-Sun). Works for us since we were in same school district and could just use school as the dropoff/pickup point.
Keep you head up, you can get through this.