No we don't have children together. His son lives 40 miles away with his mother, step dad, brother and sister. I'm not that young anymore but thank you.
As for filing, I don't want to because he is the kind of person that assumes everyone will clean his mess up. He wants a divorce then he needs to put on his big boy pants on and file. It's the principle of the matter...
But I know one day I may have to cut my losses.
As others have pointed out, this doesn't make any sense. Over a year without contact? What exactly are you waiting for? Do you have hopes of saving things or are you avoiding filing yourself purely on principle alone?
I get the principle thing to an extent, but after this much time—and given the reasons you listed as to why the marriage was a roller coaster—you can't possibly wait any longer for your own sake.
If you do have hopes of reconciling then don't wait for him to reach out. Simply call, email, text or whatever you're comfortable with requesting that you and him get together to talk about what can be done to reconcile. If he responds and you both want it, go for it. If he says no or just ignores you, move forward with the divorce yourself.
One possible snafu: where is he living now and how long has he resided there? A lot of states require that both parties entering into a divorce must have lived in the same state for the past 6 months. Given that it has been over a year since the separation and contact, I'm guessing there is a chance he moved out of state (then again you know about his spending habits so maybe not). If he did, that may complicate matters a bit for you, but still move forward with the divorce unless he's willing to talk about the relationship.
One last question: in what ways is he not someone you'd typically date?