Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Southern USA, but longtime NYC boy prior to our move.
Re: It's been almost 2 years, no contact order lifted and he will not leave me alone
I live in a large retirement community of over 150,000 seniors, which covers 3 counties. There are many woman here who are hiding from violent ex husbands. The difference between them and a lot of other women in the country is that they are legally armed and trained to defend themselves. They know from their last beating that restraining orders are a false sense of security. They have group that trains women how to shoot, the self defense laws and other useful information to keep from being found by their ex husbands. Sometimes you just need to relocate and start a new life. Some ex husbands are crazy and will keep after you as long as they can find you. I had a woman stalking me after I broke up with her. I had to move to a different State to get away from her. She knew the law very well and got around it easily. Moving away ended the problem. I firmly believe that we must be prepared to defend ourselves because the police will not guard you but only respond to your call in enough time to call an ambulance and write a report.
Women are the fasted growing segment of people learning to shoot and obtaining concealed carry permits. My most gungho students are women who were raped and women who have been stalked by ex husbands and other men. They go from rabidly anti gun to extremely pro gun. Do what you have to do to be and feel safe. According to the Supreme Court, the police have no obligation to defend individuals, only society as a whole. Violence can and does happen well before the police respond to a 911 call. Your fate is in your hands and I would not count on a piece of paper deterring someone hell bent on hurting or killing you. Court Orders are as usually as No Gun zones are in stopping mass murderers.
Move if you have to. Do not keep a social media page where you tell everyone where you are going for the night and other information. Even change your last name if you have to. It is a big country and if you are smart about it, it is not difficult to disappear in it. The women hiding from their violent exes who ignored court orders in the past seem to be doing well. They have learned to not be so easy to find and feel safe because they were trained how to protect themselves unarmed or armed. I wish you the best of luck but take control of your own safety and refuse to become a victim.
Many prefer to drown in a pool of their own morality rather than seek the safety of a different morality.