Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 10:38 AM
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

BCC, whatever happened to the charges you were filing against her? And with her stealing her mother's soc security benefits?? I cant believe a judge granted a divorce to a mentally ill person without the other party present... that seems sketchy to me.


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post #17 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 10:51 AM
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

You're in crisis and your mind is playing tricks on you and making things seem much worse than they are.

I was in your situation once. Lost contact with my kids, took a huge financial hit in my divorce but eventually things turned around and I'm in better shape than she ever was even with all the divorce proceeds. She even went into the magistrates courtroom without me due to an error made by one of my original clueless attorneys, and she got a huge support award which ultimately I was able to challenge.

There are things you can do to get this ship to turn around but its a long slow process and you must think of the end game, not where you are now.

Some ideas for you other than self harm.

1- Get another attorney and appeal the decisions because you were not properly informed, I think you have a strong case
2- Get some fast acting anti anxieties from your physician, such as xanax (that's just an example I am not making a medical recommendation here).

Things can and do get better as long as you've got your health and hopefully a good job with income, even if your ex is getting a big chunk of it right now it's not forever.

Hang in there.
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post #18 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 12:32 PM
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

BCC, I would not normally advise you to do something "just to show her" However in a case like this, you absolutely should do something "just to show her!" LIVE! Go out and make the absolute best you can with the rest of your natural life on earth. Show her what a worthless POS she is by becoming far more than she could ever hope to have. The best revenge is a life well lived. If you should try to hurt yourself, you will only letting her win and proving her right.

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post #19 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 05:26 PM
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

^ That too. Don't validate her by being an ex who off'd himself because he was a messed up guy.

That's what she'll tell everyone including your kids who will be horribly affected by your death should you choose to go that route.

Stick around, be patient and allow things to turn around. They surely will. They certainly cannot get any worse.
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post #20 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 10:45 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

Well Here I am still here, i took up drinking and thats worse than suicide. I received the divorce papers and its pretty easy 250 week for 3 kids and thats it. She keeps the crappy house which is a health hazard to my kids anyway. Racoons infiltrated the third floor for 8 years. However what disturbs me the most is my 12 year old called me an a**hole and f -off and shes glad mommy "got rid of me" and on and on so Im down at my shop talking here now but incredibly depressed, so ill keep drinking
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post #21 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 06:51 AM
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

Thanks for the update.
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post #22 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 08:31 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

I didnt see my babies yesterday, im dying i just cant do this
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post #23 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 08:43 AM
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

Right now you are your own worst enemy with all the self destructive thoughts and behavior.

In order to get through this, you need to make some adjustments in your life, just like I did, just like just about every single divorced man must do.

You won't see your kids as much, your living situation is going to change, and you'll have additional expenses.

None of this is the end of the world but if you treat it as if it is, then it's going to be that much more difficult then it already is.

The changes you need to make won't happen overnight, it's like a big barge slowly rolling along that needs to make a turn. It happens slowly, but steadily and over time you start to see your progress, but you need to be patient and work on developing a more positive attitude, just like the rest of us "successful" divorced guys. What's the alternative? Sink deeper into the pit of self despair because life didn't go the way you planned? It's an option but not one I recommend you choose.
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post #24 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 08:57 AM
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

Quote:
Originally Posted by BCC123 View Post
I have no money for a lawyer anymore, she wiped me clean
Hi don't get depressed, I can understand what u r going through bcs I am not getting any alumni from my husband not even the amount which my parents gave even that amount he is not returning. So I Can understand ur feelings, n truly even I can feeling like if we care for someone, we won't get it back for ourselves but what can we do other than one positive and forgiving the guilty.u should be there for ur childrens n be calm n positive n love urself n try to move on,we can start from any point if we r positive n many people are there in world who are lonely like u so u r not the only person who is facing such bad situation but everyone have to face anything that comes to us

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post #25 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 09:03 AM
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

The divorced guys posting here know what you're going through. I've been there. I had to take sleeping pills for a month because my mind would race a million miles an hour on how horrible my new life will be. I see my kids 50% of the time and pay over $900/m to the ex for CS and daycare expenses. Hell yes it sucks. But it's temporary. My kids will get older. I'd be paying out most of this anyway if I was still with my ex. Custody is bittersweet. I get 50% of the time to do my own thing and 50% of the time I spend actual quality time with my kiddos. You have to be positive.

You are now FREE of this crazy woman. You are now FREE to date and screw millions of single women out there. You'll be in a place soon to date and it's going to be like your back in high school/college again. It's a blast. The world is waiting for you. Get some self respect and be a man your children will look up to. Get to a doctor and get on anti-depressents. Start working out 5x a week. Eat healthy 100% of the time. Drink water only. You can do it. The hardest part is getting started, so just do it.

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post #26 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 09:49 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

I guess I cry for my children
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post #27 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 10:05 AM
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

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Originally Posted by BCC123 View Post
I guess I cry for my children
Ur childrens will be missing u surely so don't cry for them but be there for them so that u can really do something for them if they need u

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post #28 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 10:05 AM
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

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I guess I cry for my children
Are your children crying for you?

Doesn't sound like it.
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post #29 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 10:17 AM
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

Dear BCC,

You seem to be a good parent, Gentleman, and a God fearing person. I have not read your previous threads (Will do so now), but I think you are probably going through what every NICE man goes through eventually.

Hang in there, soon other TAM friends will come to give you proper advice. In the mean time, please don't take any wrong step or hurt yourself.

The world needs you. Your kids need you. Someday they will understand your true value. They will need you in good shape at that time.

Please stay safe.

Last edited by akashNil; 03-10-2017 at 10:19 AM. Reason: Spelling correction
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post #30 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 03:06 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

OMG please help, im so depressed, I wont make it through the night , im out of the house, living at my shop again alone. This time there is really just no hope. Its the thought of my kids that is killing me. I wont be able to stand it if she moved someone into the home, im scared i just wish i was dead i cant feel this pain
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