Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 03:40 PM
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

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OMG please help, im so depressed, I wont make it through the night , im out of the house, living at my shop again alone. This time there is really just no hope. Its the thought of my kids that is killing me. I wont be able to stand it if she moved someone into the home, im scared i just wish i was dead i cant feel this pain
You need medication.

I was in your position once. Not quite as bad as you are but close. High anxiety coupled with fear and depression can cause the mind to play tricks and convince you things are much worse than they really are to the point that you feel completely helpless.

Don't get me wrong, things are bad, but they're not THAT bad. There IS life after divorce, me and tons of other guys have been through it and come out the other side after thinking our lives were over.

Get the help you need and stop being your own worst enemy. The alternative- is not pretty.

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post #32 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 03:50 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

Browser, I just cant see it its a black hole with no way out
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post #33 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 03:53 PM
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

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Browser, I just cant see it its a black hole with no way out
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post #34 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 04:16 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

Im just not gonna make it
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post #35 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 04:18 PM
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

What is stopping you from picking up the phone, calling your friendly neighborhood physician, and making an appointment?

You are NOT the first person to go through this, and you won't be the last.
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post #36 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 04:22 PM
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

I just read through some of your older posts.

You were in very good shape- she was ousted as a nut case, you had custody of the children, and you made the mistake of letting her back in. Ok, you screwed up but you can get back there again. Most guys are never in that enviable position of being granted full custody of their kids.

You had it once, you can have it again, you just need to get this ship turned around. And this time you're smarter. Use the wisdom to your advantage rather than beating yourself up over your past mistakes.
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post #37 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 04:35 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

He knows what im going through and I am taking medication but some things seem to run too deep
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post #38 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 05:21 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

I know but i had the money then and had a great lawyer who is dying now. I had a hard time raising the kids, im not very organized and i was going through money like crazy. Now i would be broke. The judge gave me a tiny child support and no one gets alimony I honestly have no clue how she will do it. She spends money like its going out of style, and she must be running out of the money she took from me. I have nowhere to go with kids and they like their home and friends I think I need to be just out of the picture. Im up and down by the minute. But I sure wish I was dead
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post #39 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 05:31 PM
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

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Originally Posted by BCC123 View Post
I know but i had the money then and had a great lawyer who is dying now. I had a hard time raising the kids, im not very organized and i was going through money like crazy. Now i would be broke. The judge gave me a tiny child support and no one gets alimony I honestly have no clue how she will do it. She spends money like its going out of style, and she must be running out of the money she took from me. I have nowhere to go with kids and they like their home and friends I think I need to be just out of the picture. Im up and down by the minute. But I sure wish I was dead
OP, we may be strangers on the internet, but we care about you and want to help. Yes you want to give up now, but this feeling is not permanent. Things can and will get better. Focus on getting through to the next hour. With each passing hour, you'll have relied on your own strength to make it through. If you can make it through the next hour, you can make it through another.

Have you thought about talking to someone over the phone? You can call the prevention line: 1-800-273-8355 (if you're in the U.S.).

Is that where you are right now? What state are you in?
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post #40 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 05:38 PM
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

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Originally Posted by BCC123 View Post
I know but i had the money then and had a great lawyer who is dying now. I had a hard time raising the kids, im not very organized and i was going through money like crazy. Now i would be broke. The judge gave me a tiny child support and no one gets alimony I honestly have no clue how she will do it. She spends money like its going out of style, and she must be running out of the money she took from me. I have nowhere to go with kids and they like their home and friends I think I need to be just out of the picture. Im up and down by the minute. But I sure wish I was dead
And no, you absolutely do not need to be out of the picture. You are your kids hero. You're their dad, nobody can ever replace you. They probably don't even think things are that bad. I remember when my house burnt down and my parents lost everything (including their side business, they operated from our home), us 6 kids thought it was an adventure. I bet they thought we would see the situation in the depressing light they did.

What signs are your kids showing that the situation is negatively impacting them? Do they see your pain?

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post #41 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 05:42 PM
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

Ok, I get it, you're in a worse situation now and you probably won't get back to the point where the kids are living with you and you're receiving child support.

So let's look at the positives.

You aren't paying her alimony or child support and you don't have the responsibility of full time parenting so you have the freedom to do as you please, explore hobbies and activities that you couldn't as a full time parent, and since you don't have that responsibility, you can work more hours and gradually rebuild the finances that you lost in the divorce.

Hows that for starters?
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post #42 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 07:46 PM
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

@BCC123 what's going on on your side? If you're reading this let us know.
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post #43 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 08:15 PM
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

Bcc, bowser has given you sound advice.
Get some medication and don't lie down. You can summon the strength to keep your sadistic ex from literally destroying you.

How can you even consider letting this evil woman ruin your life?

These feelings aren't how you would think if you were healthy!
Do you get that?
Get some medication, sir!
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post #44 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 10:16 PM
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

If your so worried about your children. My advice is to try your best to snap out of it. Start rebuilding saving some money even 10 a wk if thats all you can . Eat healthy start some exercise even just walking every oer night. Shwo your children how to bounce back after a loss. They might not say anything but their watching and learning sometimes thats the best. Teach them by example!!

Good kuck
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post #45 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-15-2017, 03:47 AM
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Re: Its Over and Somehow I got taken for a fool.... again

The last thing your kids would want - is for you to harm yourself.

Regroup. Contact the numbers to see if there are other options.

I don't know what state you are in, but something very wrong has happened... and **THIS** is why you never trust your own lawyer. My wife was paying for a lawyer when we were at war with each other. When we started (R)- she showed me everything. I found problems with the lawyer's info not matching the courthouse - because *I* went to the courthouse to see what is actually going on. She stopped wasting her money.

Here is a MAJOR-NO-NO. Again - you need to confirm with a legal help group perhaps.
1 - You *ARE* supposed to be notified of ANY and ALL hearings.
2 - Did your crazy EX know where you lived or where you worked? (If yes - then you need to dig)
3 - Did she or the court make any attempt to contact you? AKA "SERVED" papers to you? (If no = major NO NO from the court)
4 - if you have not been served - find out WHY?

Go *TO THE COURTHOUSE* and get access to your CASE RECORDS - they are PUBLIC, if not at least OPEN to YOU!
It will include info regarding SERVE paperwork as well.

Let's say your EX provided the court FALSE information. The court would spend about 2~4 months trying to get YOU served or a public notice to appear in court. Who the hell reads a newspaper anyway?

If you were in regular contact with your EX and she never said anything... and knows your address... things are fishy.

If the address / contact info they have on you *IS WRONG* / fraud - that should grant you a re-trial / or something. Let's say your address is 8118 Generic Drive, but the process server had 1881 Generic Drive. Which isn't even close.

Making a judgement without the proper process is WRONG. That is why there are rules about this.

Supporting those who want to divorce or reconcile. Not every relationship is the same.

Last edited by TaDor; 03-15-2017 at 03:59 AM.
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