What the hell?
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Going Through Divorce or Separation A new addition to our forums, a place to go for sharing and support for those going through divorce and separation.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 12-27-2011, 11:04 PM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 37
Default What the hell?

I am hoping you guys might have any idea what the hell is happening? Back story: seperating after 15 years, he's had a year long EA turned into a PA in November. Daughter and I are moving in February to our new place so in the mean time, we are still here. He goes to see the OW on the weekends only, FB and texts her continually (its bizarre actually). We have been distant since I found out, talk when we need to and he is sleeping on the couch. Christmas was painful, spent Eve together but we left on the day to spend the day with my family after we opened gifts at home (and surprise, no gift for me).

So he comes home tonight all excited, he went shopping for a new outfit for new year for his date with her. He says I got my gift, she is taking me to Vegas on the weekend you are moving, so I can't help you out. I was needless to say was a bit upset, mostly hurt and jealous. Seems kind of quick to be taking a trip together but thats just me. I left for a bit just to get some air but came back about an hour later with boxes to start packing. Ever since then, he was been super affectionate, almost bordering on sexual! What the hell? Guilt maybe?

Last edited by KatiezMomma; 12-27-2011 at 11:22 PM.
KatiezMomma is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 12-28-2011, 12:39 AM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
tacoma's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 5,252
Default Re: What the hell?

Oh he`s definitely not feeling guilt.
You can`t live with your wife and child during the week, spend the weekends ****ing your mistress come home, tell your wife you`re going to Vegas with the mistress, and have a conscience.

He`s aiming for that last sex session.
You know, the hysterical bonding in vain?

Tell him to stay the hell off you and pray the time flies until you`re gone.
tacoma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2011, 12:45 AM   #3 (permalink)
Forum Supporter
 
EleGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 17,627
Default Re: What the hell?

Why are you and your child moving out of the family home instead of him?
__________________
Surviving An Affair - What Are Plan A and Plan B? 180 for Betrayed Spouses


To Create A Passionate Marriage - Five Steps to Romantic Love His Needs, Her Needs Love Busters
EleGirl is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2011, 02:48 AM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
Jellybeans's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 19,216
Default Re: What the hell?

He feels no guilt which is why he's blatantly rubbing his affair in your face. File for divorce and never look back.
Posted via Mobile Device
Jellybeans is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2011, 03:06 AM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
Crankshaw's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,046
Default Re: What the hell?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jellybeans View Post
He feels no guilt which is why he's blatantly rubbing his affair in your face. File for divorce and never look back.
Posted via Mobile Device
still dishing out very sound advice JB
__________________
Happiness is not a life without pain, but rather a life in which the pain is traded for a worthy price.

I love standing in the pouring rain because you can cry to your hearts content, and no one will know.
Crankshaw is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2011, 08:09 AM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
Jellybeans's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 19,216
Default Re: What the hell?

Thanks, Crank. And we have missed you! Hope you are well!
Jellybeans is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2011, 08:58 AM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 37
Default Re: What the hell?

You guys are right, he is such a charmer that he could be telling you to **** off and you would think hey thats a great idea (I guess that what actually happening really I spent the night stewing about it, not a great night sleep. I have no idea what I have done to deserve this garbage but not my concern anymore, its the OW.

Elegirl, we are renting this place so it doesn't matter who leaves. Truthfully I jumped at the chance to leave here because I hate it.
KatiezMomma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2011, 09:36 AM   #8 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 10,104
Default Re: What the hell?

Why are only separating and not divorcing him? If you divorce you'll be able to get court enforceable child support etc.

Right now he's a married man, openly cheating, and openly running off to vegas.

Also 50% of the money here is yours. guess what he'll be spending in vegas.
Shaggy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2011, 10:08 AM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 37
Default

In BC we have to be seperated a year before we can file for divorce but that will happen for sure. We have child and spousal agreement in our seperation papers that will be filed when we move.
As for the trip OW is paying for it, how sweet for him! And me I guess, but I did point out his first support payment is due the day he leaves . I also pointed out how messed up it is to be travelling with his new lady when he is still married, still living together regardless if he emotionally is done. He sat for a minute and didn't say anything. I just wish someone other than me would ask him what the **** he is doing because this is so out of character for him but he grew up with a family that condones just about anything so I think its a lost cause. Pity because I loved that man more than anything and would have done anything for him but it just doesn't matter.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shaggy View Post
Why are only separating and not divorcing him? If you divorce you'll be able to get court enforceable child support etc.

Right now he's a married man, openly cheating, and openly running off to vegas.

Also 50% of the money here is yours. guess what he'll be spending in vegas.
Posted via Mobile Device

Last edited by KatiezMomma; 12-28-2011 at 10:15 AM.
KatiezMomma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2011, 11:27 AM   #10 (permalink)
CH
Member
 
CH's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,574
Default Re: What the hell?

Take him to the cleaners IMO.
CH is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2011, 11:32 AM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 
that_girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Wherever I lay my head.
Posts: 10,285
Default Re: What the hell?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jellybeans View Post
He feels no guilt which is why he's blatantly rubbing his affair in your face. File for divorce and never look back.
Posted via Mobile Device
__________________

Real women don't want flowers and chocolate.
They want vodka and Taco Bell.
that_girl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2011, 11:32 AM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 
that_girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Wherever I lay my head.
Posts: 10,285
Default Re: What the hell?

And it's not out of character for him if he's doing it. This is his character now.
__________________

Real women don't want flowers and chocolate.
They want vodka and Taco Bell.
that_girl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2011, 11:45 AM   #13 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,929
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by KatiezMomma View Post
In BC we have to be seperated a year before we can file for divorce but that will happen for sure. We have child and spousal agreement in our seperation papers that will be filed when we move.
As for the trip OW is paying for it, how sweet for him! And me I guess, but I did point out his first support payment is due the day he leaves . I also pointed out how messed up it is to be travelling with his new lady when he is still married, still living together regardless if he emotionally is done. He sat for a minute and didn't say anything. I just wish someone other than me would ask him what the **** he is doing because this is so out of character for him but he grew up with a family that condones just about anything so I think its a lost cause. Pity because I loved that man more than anything and would have done anything for him but it just doesn't matter.

Posted via Mobile Device
You should check with a lawyer, but I believe here in Canada the one year waiting period can be avoided in cases where adultery is an issue.

C
Posted via Mobile Device
PBear is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2011, 11:57 AM   #14 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 37
Default Re: What the hell?

I did talk to a lawyer and trying to get the evidence is going to next to impossible since he chats on his work cellphone and he won't admit to it in writing....actually I never asked him! Hmmmm. There is a conversation to have tonight. I just wish this was so easy for me as it is for him. Sadly I am so worried for him, this new relationship seems so....bizarre but I guess it would from any spouses view.
Posted via Mobile Device
KatiezMomma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2011, 12:10 PM   #15 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 10,104
Default Re: What the hell?

Quote:
Originally Posted by KatiezMomma View Post
I did talk to a lawyer and trying to get the evidence is going to next to impossible since he chats on his work cellphone and he won't admit to it in writing....actually I never asked him! Hmmmm. There is a conversation to have tonight. I just wish this was so easy for me as it is for him. Sadly I am so worried for him, this new relationship seems so....bizarre but I guess it would from any spouses view.
Posted via Mobile Device
The courts aren't naive. Him going out like he does, and then going to vegas with her is pretty clear cut I'd say.
Shaggy is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
how the hell did i get here?? nandosbella General Relationship Discussion 2 08-23-2012 10:44 PM
Oh hell, I don't know! mrs_featherbottom Considering Divorce or Separation 10 04-12-2012 09:43 PM
How in the hell? TheMizz...erable General Relationship Discussion 6 10-03-2011 09:37 AM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:07 AM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage