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post #1 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 08:00 PM Thread Starter
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Question about alimony

Here is the backstory for anyone interested.

Need advice before divorcing

We both have our own attorneys, which is stupid looking at it now because we have no children, no savings, only a house with $20k in equity.

So these lawyers (which I ****in' hate like only a combat veteran could) Are purposefully dragging things out. Acting all chum chum and aloof about things and colluding with each other to bring us to additional alimony hearings and demanding additional retainers to attend them. I told my wife that we should fire them while the damage is small, it's going to double by the time they schedule the master hearing! Told her, lets fire them and I'll pay for the arbitrator to handle the rest. The ex is a loud mouth drunk with a huge ego and just talks non-stop then hangs up the phone when I try to explain. God am I pissed

The question:

-Married 6 years.

ME: -No college degree -First 5 years I grossed $50k. -In 2016 made $130k as a realtor. - No salary, all commission since I became a realtor. -36 years old. -no kids. -healthy
-18 years military -Paid $40k in GI Bill for my wife's masters degree -Pay all housing and living expenses, always have.

HER: - 33 years old -Grossed an average of $5k over the last 5 years. -I supported her while she attended the graduate program I paid for for 3 of those years. -no kids -healthy (looking) 4.0 GPA MS degree in Instructional Leadership, not using. -Earns $10 per hr working 15 hours a week.


Her attorney told her that I could be made to pay $1,500 a month for 2 years. This seems absolutely insane and I'll go to jail before I pay it. I bought the house myself before marriage and commingled it when we refinanced, HUGE MISTAKE.

No kids, only a house as an asset. She has a masters degree and is 33 years old, does it sound right that I could pay this drunken women $1,500 a month in alimony!!!? I'm in PA. A loud mouthed drunken ***** that smokes a pack a day with a master degree that I paid for, F#ck if I'm going to pay her $1,500 a month just so she can be a layabout piece of **** for two years. If I seem angry, it's much more than that. I worked my ass off for 6 years waiting for her to 'snap out of it', equipped her with every tool she needed to fend for herself.


Last edited by 53791263; 03-16-2017 at 08:22 PM.
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post #2 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 08:19 PM
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Re: Question about alimony

I just did some searching on Google on the topic. That might be accurate.

You might want to see another lawyer to get a second opinion. It would seem to me that you should be able to impute a certain amount of income to your wife since she really has no excuse to not be working right now.

I get what you are saying about the attorneys. They seem to work to increase their own income and not help their clients all that much.

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post #3 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 08:42 PM
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Re: Question about alimony

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Originally Posted by 53791263 View Post
I'll go to jail before I pay it.
You may want to prepare yourself for jail then.

I hear you about how unfair it is. And depending on the state/judge/situation, maybe they will take into account somewhat the fact that she has a master's degree. But typically the way alimony works is that you are supposed to provide her with the same standard of living that she had before the divorce, the assumption being that you had a reason or there was an agreement for her to be only working 15 hours a week for minimum wage.

My recommendation would be to learn a lesson from it... sorry.
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post #4 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 08:50 PM
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Re: Question about alimony

Quote:
Originally Posted by 53791263 View Post
Here is the backstory for anyone interested.

Need advice before divorcing

We both have our own attorneys, which is stupid looking at it now because we have no children, no savings, only a house with $20k in equity.

So these lawyers (which I ****in' hate like only a combat veteran could) Are purposefully dragging things out. Acting all chum chum and aloof about things and colluding with each other to bring us to additional alimony hearings and demanding additional retainers to attend them. I told my wife that we should fire them while the damage is small, it's going to double by the time they schedule the master hearing! Told her, lets fire them and I'll pay for the arbitrator to handle the rest. The ex is a loud mouth drunk with a huge ego and just talks non-stop then hangs up the phone when I try to explain. God am I pissed

The question:

-Married 6 years.

ME: -No college degree -First 5 years I grossed $50k. -In 2016 made $130k as a realtor. - No salary, all commission since I became a realtor. -36 years old. -no kids. -healthy
-18 years military -Paid $40k in GI Bill for my wife's masters degree -Pay all housing and living expenses, always have.

HER: - 33 years old -Grossed an average of $5k over the last 5 years. -I supported her while she attended the graduate program I paid for for 3 of those years. -no kids -healthy (looking) 4.0 GPA MS degree in Instructional Leadership, not using. -Earns $10 per hr working 15 hours a week.


Her attorney told her that I could be made to pay $1,500 a month for 2 years. This seems absolutely insane and I'll go to jail before I pay it. I bought the house myself before marriage and commingled it when we refinanced, HUGE MISTAKE.

No kids, only a house as an asset. She has a masters degree and is 33 years old, does it sound right that I could pay this drunken women $1,500 a month in alimony!!!? I'm in PA. A loud mouthed drunken ***** that smokes a pack a day with a master degree that I paid for, F#ck if I'm going to pay her $1,500 a month just so she can be a layabout piece of **** for two years. If I seem angry, it's much more than that. I worked my ass off for 6 years waiting for her to 'snap out of it', equipped her with every tool she needed to fend for herself.
My ex pays almost 4k in alimony. Be grateful.
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post #5 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 09:27 PM
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Re: Question about alimony

I responded on your other thread, and answered your questions.

To sum it up here

1- if you pay $1500 for only 2 years you should consider yourself lucky- that number is a typical award for your state given the length of the marriage and the income disparity
2- she has no reason to negotiate, because given the income disparity you'll probably be ordered to pay most or all of her legal fees
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post #6 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 10:07 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Question about alimony

Thanks for the justification. I feel better about myself now.
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post #7 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 11:31 PM
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Re: Question about alimony

Of course it's not right.

Unfortunately, the law -- especially, it would seem, civil law -- often has little to do w/ justice.

Sorry man.

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

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post #8 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 11:42 PM
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Re: Question about alimony

Question to all - he's been a real estate agent. What if he drags out the divorce and dials back his income in the mean time? Or would he just be hurting himself in the long run?

I'm self employed and business is up and down, totally different from year to year. It would be totally effed to get stuck with an alimony bill based on a good year...

To @53791263, You are right this is enraging. If it happens though, just remember, at least you're getting this drunk loud mouth out of your life. A couple years and it's over. What about your military retirement though, will she get a chunk of that?
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post #9 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 12:47 AM
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Re: Question about alimony

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Originally Posted by WorkingWife View Post
Question to all - he's been a real estate agent. What if he drags out the divorce and dials back his income in the mean time? Or would he just be hurting himself in the long run?

I'm self employed and business is up and down, totally different from year to year. It would be totally effed to get stuck with an alimony bill based on a good year...
This is a real problem and I wonder how this has been addressed by his attorney. One good year and he has to pay alimony based on just one good year? It would seem that there is a way to average it out or re-evaluate based on actual income... like making it based on a percentage of actual income instead of a fixed dollar amount.


Quote:
Originally Posted by WorkingWife View Post
To @53791263, You are right this is enraging. If it happens though, just remember, at least you're getting this drunk loud mouth out of your life. A couple years and it's over. What about your military retirement though, will she get a chunk of that?
He's 36. I doubt he was in long enough to get a military retirement.

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post #10 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 09:01 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Question about alimony

She can't get the retirement, when I do retire in two more years. Have to be married for 10 years for that to happen.

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post #11 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 09:09 AM
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Re: Question about alimony

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My ex pays almost 4k in alimony. Be grateful.
That's seems like a huge amount of alimony

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post #12 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 09:21 AM
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Re: Question about alimony

Your situation is another one of my reasons why divorce rules favor women and for men not to get married. There is alot in common to both of our situations, both wanted to marry with all good intentions only to have her change, become undesirable, have us do whatever we could to improve their situation ...only to get screwed in the end. I hear what you're saying I know the divorce settlement my wife would get from me wouldn't be fair either so I decided to stay. As guys we only have two options: give practically everything to her, though she definitely doesn't deserve it, or stay.

"I've paid double for every transgression I've ever made and that motel and that boat are little to ask for"
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post #13 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 09:35 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Question about alimony

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As guys we only have two options: give practically everything to her, though she definitely doesn't deserve it, or stay.

We can just do our best to destroy the woman emotionally, spiritually, morally, financially, and on social media. It's giving me solace at least. She can have some money for a little bit, I'll strip away her soul in return.
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post #14 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 09:42 AM
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Re: Question about alimony

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That's seems like a huge amount of alimony
My boss had to pay around this much for 5 years. On top of that, $2k/m for CS. His ex was engaged to some rich guy but didn't get married until after the alimony expired. But when you make over $300k/yr, it's not the end of the world.
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post #15 of 48 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 10:04 AM
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Re: Question about alimony

I'm afraid you are in for a reality check/wake up call.

The laws in your state are very clear, and they were written long before you decided to sign a legal contract which bounds you to those laws.

It's not the court's fault that they have to enforce it, and guys who say "I'm angry and I'll go to jail before I pay" and are mad at the world and the system and the judge are directing their anger at the wrong place. It's no different than a guy who speeds down the highway at 85 mph, gets pulled over and gets fined $500 and sees his car insurance premiums hiked $2k for the next 3 years. It's our own fault, no one else's. In this case you allowed your wife to earn relatively little income for all of the marriage, and the courts look at "the status quo" and make their rulings largely on that basis. She hasn't worked, she needs time and money to transition back into the workforce, and your responsibility does not end when the divorce papers are stamped final.

Sure there are some very unfair rulings that defy logic and common sense and fly in the face of established case law, but so far, in this case, it appears that 2 years worth of alimony at $1500 per month is not unreasonable.

You made $50k per year until last year, then you made $130k. So even if you average the last 3 years together, that's $77k per year, and you'll pay her about $12,000 for each of two years (after tax deductions). Odds are you'll be making more than $50k in the following years so you're way ahead of the game.

Some states will give you an award based on the value of her degree which was obtained during the marriage, and that can be huge. I researched your state and it appears you're screwed but you might want to ask your attorney anyway.

The question of whether an advanced degree, such as a medical license, has a value that can be distributed in a Divorce has long been settled by the Supreme Court of Pennsylvania. In the case of Hodge v. Hodge, 513 Pa. 264 (1986), the Court faced the question of whether a doctor’s license to practice medicine, which was obtained during the marriage, had a value that could be divided during the equitable distribution of assets in a divorce case. The Court in Hodge held that an advanced degree, such as a medical license was not property and was, therefore, not divisible as an asset in equitable distribution.

Truth be told if you're that bent out of shape over alimony payments that will total about $24,000 after tax deductions, you're really going to lose it when the legal fees start mounting up, which can easily triple that number.

If I was you I'd happily agree to the 2 years worth of requested alimony otherwise a few years you'll be kicking yourself for not settling when you had the opportunity.
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