said pretty much exactly what I was going to say. Most men are inherently fixers. There's nothing wrong with that. It's just not what most women need.
Sharing in a marriage IS important. It leads to emotional intimacy, which is what most women need in a relationship. Because many men are like you @MovingForward
and are reluctant to share, when you DO share with your wife all these things--your hopes, your dreams, your fears--they become hers, too. And that's what makes a marriage special and intimate the way no other relationship is, because she knows you truly intimately, the way no one else ever possibly could.
This is why emotional affairs (on the husband's part) can be so much more painful than just a physical affair (CAN be, not making grand sweeping generalizations), because he is sharing with his AP things that are emotionally intimate and should be reserved for the special intimacy between a husband and wife.
When you keep things from your wife, you are denying her the emotional intimacy that she needs in a relationship, and when that happens, she stops feeling SAFE in the relationship. If she stops feeling safe, she will likely pull away from physical intimacy--which is usually the husband's biggest need in the marriage. It makes HIM feel safe, and allows him to be emotionally vulnerable. When she starts pulling away physically, he withdraws even more emotionally--which in turns causes her to pull away more physically. It creates a vicious cycle which can eventually spiral out of control and ruin a marriage. It takes at least one person--preferably both--not pulling back, despite the feelings of (sometimes extreme) discomfort, to keep the cycle from continuing, and to turn it around.
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