Wife is on the way out. Need all the help I can get. - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
Going Through Divorce or Separation A new addition to our forums, a place to go for sharing and support for those going through divorce and separation.

User Tag List

 54Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #46 of 50 (permalink) Old 03-30-2017, 12:32 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 30
Re: Wife is on the way out. Need all the help I can get.

perhaps I am still in denial... you are right... I dont want to be constantly talking about how I feel... perhaps, I will tire my friends, so I am careful.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MovingForward View Post
yes it seems woman are much more supportive of there friends and come together more than men do. probably why we all fall apart more our support is usually our wife and then we are left with nothing.



Good on you, i wish I had been as positive at the beginning as you are.

Wish you all the best.


need_help_to_recover is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #47 of 50 (permalink) Old 03-30-2017, 12:46 PM
Member
 
23cm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: The South
Posts: 70
Re: Wife is on the way out. Need all the help I can get.

"To further complicate things, My wife will stay married to me for a while ( year or two), because she needs a legal way to stay in the US. So I am supporting her still. And will do so for some time to come..."

NO NO NO NO NO NO....

In most states, 10 years qualifies as a "long term marriage," and you will be stuck with spousal support until: "death, remarriage or further action of the court." She's been using you. Divorce yesterday.
23cm is online now  
post #48 of 50 (permalink) Old 03-30-2017, 01:08 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: SouthWest
Posts: 408
Re: Wife is on the way out. Need all the help I can get.

Quote:
Originally Posted by need_help_to_recover View Post
perhaps I am still in denial... you are right...
You may be but try and fake it till you make it, I had times i thought I was over it and doing well but have relapsed twice since to rock bottom, its going to be rough for a while or so I am told, so far I am only 4 months in but hope to find peace with the situation.

M - 12
Kids - 2
MovingForward is online now  
 
post #49 of 50 (permalink) Old 03-30-2017, 01:46 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,712
Re: Wife is on the way out. Need all the help I can get.

May I suggest that you get the absolute best possible legal outcome in YOUR favor?
Don't try to keep anyone but YOU and your son in your country.

A woman like your wife is going to make you miserable. Picture a new, trashy, drug addicted, sexual pervert, every other month around your son when he is with his mother. Don't think this can't happen. Plan for the worst and hope you're wrong.
You can give her or help her in any way you want to, but keep the legal responsibility as low as possible. Do NOT try to go about this divorce bowing to her every wish to keep it "amicable".

A divorce is not about friends, it's strictly a legal thing. A business thing. Treat it like one.
Evinrude58 is online now  
post #50 of 50 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 05:38 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 92
Re: Wife is on the way out. Need all the help I can get.

Quote:
Originally Posted by need_help_to_recover View Post
I am 34. Been married 9 years. Have a 5 year old boy. I am the sole bread winner.



A couple of months ago, she told me she is done with the marriage. I was shell shocked. She told me that there is nothing left in her heart for me.

Our last couple of years were somewhat conflict free, but now that I look back at it, it was because she had decided she was done. And would just go along, or not want to stir anything.





Wife was the love of my life. We were incompatible in many ways. Largely with money.



So what happened to us?

I believe I was too stressed going about providing for my family. My wife was unwilling to accept and help with the stress, because she saw my stress as a sign of "her being a burden".

Essentially, I could not handle the challenges, and it bled through to her. She felt un appreciated, and so did I.

She wanted more respect, and I needed her to do more to help me. This was the less palatable part of our dynamic for years.



Communication was always a challenge. My wife expected me to read the silent/ unsaid stuff. Body language , tacit expectations. I needed explicit conversations. All our "talks through issues" were stressful and tiresome for her. But I kept thinking we were working towards compromise and common -grounds.



I tried to provide well for her, but found myself, losing interest in everything in life. Withdrawing from friends... basically I became only one thing, a provider, and a father. I became boring and serious.



Now, I am shell shocked that she was working on leaving for years. And that there is nothing I can do to save my marriage.



I am trying to rebuild confidence, and self-esteem.



To further complicate things, My wife will stay married to me for a while ( year or two), because she needs a legal way to stay in the US. So I am supporting her still. And will do so for some time to come...



I need help with being able to move on. Learn to hope and be happy. I still love her, and thats going to make it really difficult...



Hoping some of you can help me.


So she is using you to support her and to stay in the country. Hell No! Tell her she wants a D, fine. Go. File papers and send her ass back to her country.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
jarhed is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Wife having an emotional affair or worse thegman Coping with Infidelity 103 12-28-2016 05:20 PM
How To Repair Communication With My Wife? schwarz General Relationship Discussion 21 10-25-2016 12:49 AM
Conflict between wife and mother getting out of hand mattsull13 The Family & Parenting Forums 22 10-24-2016 04:59 AM
Wife is enabling her live in mother huskerfan438 Considering Divorce or Separation 40 10-08-2016 12:20 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome