Re: Wife is on the way out. Need all the help I can get.
May I suggest that you get the absolute best possible legal outcome in YOUR favor?
Don't try to keep anyone but YOU and your son in your country.
A woman like your wife is going to make you miserable. Picture a new, trashy, drug addicted, sexual pervert, every other month around your son when he is with his mother. Don't think this can't happen. Plan for the worst and hope you're wrong.
You can give her or help her in any way you want to, but keep the legal responsibility as low as possible. Do NOT try to go about this divorce bowing to her every wish to keep it "amicable".
A divorce is not about friends, it's strictly a legal thing. A business thing. Treat it like one.