Depressed and wanting to go back - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-20-2017, 05:37 PM
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Re: Depressed and wanting to go back

It's rather telling that you don't say anything about missing your daughters and you don't say anything about how you feel about your girlfriend or how she might be affected if you left her. It's all about your feelings and what you want without much if any regard for the 3 people who are probably the most important people in your life.

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post #17 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 12:57 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Depressed and wanting to go back

@stixx

Quote:
It's rather telling that you don't say anything about missing your daughters and you don't say anything about how you feel about your girlfriend or how she might be affected if you left her. It's all about your feelings and what you want without much if any regard for the 3 people who are probably the most important people in your life.
I can't say that you are wrong about that - I just can't help it. Of course I love my daughters and there are instants when thinking of them almost knocks me over but for the most part, I think about my wife.

As far as my girlfriend, I just had the strangest encounter with her last week. After dinner and a walk, we were having coffee, she inches her chair closer and says, out of the blue, she thinks we should just be friends. I was really caught off guard but not like devasted but I wanted to know why and she's saying things like, "no chemistry," "different relationship goals" then out of the blue bursts into tears. It was really weird. We have been texting but we haven't seen each other this whole past week.

I don't think about her at all.
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post #18 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 01:32 PM
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Re: Depressed and wanting to go back

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Originally Posted by Secondguessing View Post
I can't say that you are wrong about that - I just can't help it. Of course I love my daughters and there are instants when thinking of them almost knocks me over but for the most part, I think about my wife.
This, right now you need to think of your daughters, get yourself back in their life, get contact sorted, see them, speak to them, don't let them get distanced. You love them they are your life and your future right now, don't leave it and become alienated.
I understand your thoughts for your wife, I have been there and done that, but given your posts I don't see anything left in it for you as a marriage, but you have everything as a father, they are your girls and always will be no matter, unless you extend that distance.

They will give you something more than you know right now, lift the depression, give a real purpose, a connection enduring love and a reason for you to give devotion. It will fill your time and life and you will brighten up and move on, and you will be their Dad, the Dad they want and need. You clearly have the emotion in you for them as just thinking of them almost a knocks you over. So go, go see them live for them right now, get that part sorted and enjoy it.
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post #19 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 09:50 PM
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Re: Depressed and wanting to go back

Have you obtained the paperwork to file a parenting plan?

One foot in front of the other.
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post #20 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 09:53 PM
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Re: Depressed and wanting to go back

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Originally Posted by Secondguessing View Post
@stixx



I can't say that you are wrong about that - I just can't help it. Of course I love my daughters and there are instants when thinking of them almost knocks me over but for the most part, I think about my wife.

As far as my girlfriend, I just had the strangest encounter with her last week. After dinner and a walk, we were having coffee, she inches her chair closer and says, out of the blue, she thinks we should just be friends. I was really caught off guard but not like devasted but I wanted to know why and she's saying things like, "no chemistry," "different relationship goals" then out of the blue bursts into tears. It was really weird. We have been texting but we haven't seen each other this whole past week.

I don't think about her at all.
She sensed that she was just a rebound.
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post #21 of 23 (permalink) Old 04-17-2017, 08:44 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Depressed and wanting to go back

I finally had my first court hearing today and got a few things resolved.

Based on my gross salary of 55K per year, I'll have to pay between $600 to $800 per mnth for child support and spousal support wasn't even mentioned. My lawyer said in Indiana, spousal support is minimal at most. I'm happy with that part.

On the other hand, my wife cashed out some annuities and I had wanted 1/2 of that but the judge said she can keep it for now but it will considered as assets either i mediation or if it goes to court.

I don't know - I can't say I'm happy with the rulings but I guess it could have been worse.

Overall, what I felt/feel is relief.
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post #22 of 23 (permalink) Old 04-17-2017, 08:57 PM
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Re: Depressed and wanting to go back

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Originally Posted by returntozero View Post
have you obtained the paperwork to file a parenting plan?

One foot in front of the other.
ibid
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post #23 of 23 (permalink) Old 04-17-2017, 09:02 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Depressed and wanting to go back

@ReturntoZero

When I left, I really left and went to China so no parenting is possible until Chrtistmas 2017. In fact, if I had them for 7 weeks over this summer, my support payments would be even less. Temporary orders require I can skype them once per week.

I'm concerned about the cashed in annuities. The judge said she could use money for household necessities but to keep a ledger. I just don't know ....
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