Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Southern USA, but longtime NYC boy prior to our move.
Re: Depressed and wanting to go back
OK, I will take a stab at it. I left my ex fiancee for cheating. I knew that I might forgive her but I would never forget her. I could not live knowing that I would be suspicious of her all the time and feel almost the same as if she was still cheating. Sooner or later she would resent my constant suspicions and accusations and cheat again. I decided to cut her loose and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It enabled me to meet my loyal and wonderful wife of 44 years. Plus my ex fiancee went on to cheat on her husband and is now married to a woman.
Love cannot be willed into or out of existence so it is very possible that you still love her. I got over that with a new girlfriend. Your depression can be due to other reasons like feeling you were not man enough for her, which is a common feeling. No matter what the cause you need to speak to your doctor. That is what I did and after putting me on medication my life has been much improved. I feel happy and unstressed most days. My wife loves me when I am being treated for my depression. Have no idea of why I feel depressed since I have a good job, was successful in my profession and a long and loving marriage. Nonetheless I would wake up not finding a reason to get out of bed. I was fatigued all the time and I obsessively though of negative things which kept me from sleeping. Now I have none of that so speak to your doctor. There is no shame in it as a large percentage of the population suffers from some sort of depression and whether you take pills or talk therapy, it will make a significant difference in your life. A Psychologist will do talk therapy while a Physciatrist will mostly just prescribe pills as your family doctor will do also at a much cheaper price.
Do something for your depression and the rest of your life will be better for it.
Many prefer to drown in a pool of their own morality rather than seek the safety of a different morality.