Re: Just Separated and Feeling Hopeless
Thank you for your replies.
I see some advice to file for divorce...I don't want a divorce. I want my marriage, and my husband to love me. Perhaps this will not be the case, but I agreed to this separation/time-out period and I will honor it. Part of what is so painful is that I know what I want, but I am powerless to do anything in this situation other than wait and see what he decides. Which makes me feel pretty pathetic as well.
I read through a lot of posts on the forum, and I see the trend of there being someone else. He does have a newer friend who is female, he swears it is just friendship. She lives with her boyfriend and has children, so I don't think that is something he would be pursuing, though I guess he could have a crush/be attracted to her. I know as I type this, I am going to get replies that I should wake up and that it is more than that...and yes it could be, I don't think so though. If anything, I think he is going through a mid life crisis (45), and is questioning his life. He has a cousin same age who recently divorced and is having fun, dating new people, etc.
I am definitely trying to stay busy. I workout regularly, and have been continuing that, and am trying to make plans with friends, join new social groups, try new things. Its tough because this is on my mind constantly and I am sleeping very little, which makes me even more zombie like. And I find myself wanting to avoid long time friends who know us both, as I don't want to tell them, and it is difficult to pretend all is fine.
I wish there was a switch I could flip to turn off certain feelings and thoughts! I guess I never gave it much thought before, but I cannot believe how incredibly painful this is.
Thanks for listening.