Hi guys, I'm new and this is my first post, though I have lurked for awhile.
Weeks ago my husband sat down with me and said that he wanted to separate. We have been married 2 years, and we both really had no idea that marriage was work. When we dated everything came fairly easy for us. Being married we have both made a lot of mistakes (communication, not having a real partnership, etc.). My husband told me he was unhappy, he felt lost, and he had been trying to save our relationship for a long time by himself. He felt like we were headed for a divorce and he did not want that.
I was heartbroken, both that it had come to this, and because I had not seen that he was trying to work to save our marriage. It's been a few weeks now, and I'm working on trying to get my own place. It's becoming clear that he is unsure if we will get back together and that he wants to focus on himself. I had spent the past few weeks focusing on how to make our marriage stronger, how to communicate better and solve our marital problems. I want very badly to save our marriage, but I worry it may not work out.
How do you guys handle this? I keep trying so hard to keep myself together but I usually end up crying for hours. The hard part is that it really is hard to find hope. I try so hard, but I feel kind of abandoned. Looking at apartments and furniture, stuff that I so badly believed I would always do with my husband. I fear we are headed towards separate lives, and nothing will keep us together. I mean we love each other very much, but you need more than that. I mean we text and talk on the phone a lot, and we see each other once and awhile. It is just really so hard and painful. I'm trying to be understanding of him needing time and some space, I just always believed that married people were stronger together, and I had wanted to help him find himself, who he used to be. I want to fight for our marriage, but he says that he can't work on himself and work on our marriage at the same time.
Any advice is greatly appreciated, I feel so lost at times.