What will happen?? - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 12-31-2011, 10:39 PM Thread Starter
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What will happen??

Well, I never thought in a million years I would be posting something like this, as I'm sure no one does, but here I am so here goes.
H and I have been married 2 1/2 years and together 5 years with a 2yo son and each have a 10yo from previous relationships. He was my best friend and I lived my life for him and our children. I love him desperately, always have always will.

End Oct 2011- H tells me he has been unhappy for sometime and doesn't know if he wants to continue in our marriage and needs time to think- I fall apart, begging him for answers daily.

Mid Nov 2011- H says he has decided he doesn't want to work on our marriage and is moving out to stay with a friend( whom is male and I know of). He wants to see changes and doesn't know how he'll feel in the future but he is not in love with me or attracted to me and can't see us being together in the future.

He refuses MC, however I have been seeing someone for my insecurity issues.

He has told me that I have been insecure and controlling and have never trusted him and he just can't live like that anymore- so what do I do, of course I prove him completely correct by hassling him every day, crying, begging, getting angry, getting sad again, 3 phonecalls a day and basically giving him no space at all to think or assess what he is doing. He says 3 days before Christmas that he has made his decision, there is no hope for us now. I fall apart again!

Finally 2 days after Christmas I realise this just keeps getting worse and I need to give him space and if and when I do talk to him, not to ask questions or cry or drill him about what he has been doing.

I can't help but panic and i feel like I have blown any chance of him ever seeing me differently. It has come to a point where he speaks to me like I am nothing in his life and that hurts to no end, I wake up with a disgusting anxious knot in my stomach that never seems to go away.

I guess I'd like to hear from anyone on either side who may have been through something like this.

Is there ever going to be a chance that he could change his mind? How should I behave with him now? Some one please help. I feel like I am dying inside and I just can't find a way out of this mess.

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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 01-01-2012, 02:43 AM
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Re: What will happen??

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this.

There is a chance that things could turn around if you use this time to make positive changes in yourself.
You do need to back off and let him only see you at your best. That's what Plan A is about. You also need to do things that help you protect yourself emotionally.

Take a look at the Plan A and Plan B link in my signature block.

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