Re: Is it common for her to not push for divorce yet?
I recommend that you not enable your wayward wife. She is cake-eating and trying to set up a fantasy with an "amicable" separation. Even if you are a loving person, does that mean you should suffer the slings and arrows of her infidelity? No one should have to endure that kind of abuse. Your inaction allows your wayward wife to coast unscathed in her bad decisions and extremely harmful behavior. If I were you I would be seeking full custody of the child in light of the lifestyle she is choosing. Moreover, you have a responsibility to your personal dignity and well being to stop this abuse by ending the marriage. Stalling the divorce only hurts you as you risk losing months or even years of your life to quiet desperation. So sad is it to see betrayed spouses waffle and wallow in the filthy pit of their wayward spouse's adultery. Your mental well being is on life support. Why not seek to thrive? Life is too short.
While she is still in the fog and not concerned with property matters as much as getting her thrills, I would set up a meeting and negotiate a divorce on your own without attorneys. Your court house will probably have a do it yourself divorce process you can take part in. You can always have an attorney review your documents and if she lawyers up, you can too. But if she agrees to do this without lawyers and without a trial, you might be able to get out of this with minimal financial damage. I took this route and it worked out very well. But my wayward wife was cooperative and we split everything 50/50. No alimony, and we use a spreadsheet to divide the child expenses so no child support either.
Now that the divorce is final, I NEVER speak with her. I have gone dark, and it has saved me a world of hurt and anger. I've cut the cord clean and I am on my way to a much better place. It's a process, but the only way you can get through hell is to keep going.
Finally, though I recommend divorce, I don't like it. Marriage is for life, and couples should work out their differences and take the actions required to have a happy marriage. But when one bails out and isn't willing to take steps for the recovery of the marriage, then the other spouse must take action and not become a victim of abuse.