Update: After I went on a date on Tuesday, she completely freaked out, and started talking reconciliation. I told her if she sets up a couples therapy appointment for us, I will attend and in good faith, suspend dating others during the duration. My therapist also told me it would be good to be completely over this relationship before I start another, and I admit a big part of the thrill of starting to date again was to not feel the pain of my marriage ending. Come Thursday morning, I asked about the therapy appointment, and she was in one of her dark moods and said, "Oh, we're talking about that now? I suppose we should go, just to get closure." So yeah, she's either manic depressive or bipolar, but either way she's in a dark place. It's a holiday week, so next week is the big week. We either go into therapy or we hammer out the Separation Agreement.
While she is still in the fog and not concerned with property matters as much as getting her thrills, I would set up a meeting and negotiate a divorce on your own without attorneys. Your court house will probably have a do it yourself divorce process you can take part in. You can always have an attorney review your documents and if she lawyers up, you can too. But if she agrees to do this without lawyers and without a trial, you might be able to get out of this with minimal financial damage. I took this route and it worked out very well. But my wayward wife was cooperative and we split everything 50/50. No alimony, and we use a spreadsheet to divide the child expenses so no child support either.
That's exactly what I'll do next week with her if she doesn't make the therapy appointment. It probably makes sense to discuss asset division and child support anyway, even with the therapy. I drew up a list of all of our assets, so I'm ready.
Now that the divorce is final, I NEVER speak with her. I have gone dark, and it has saved me a world of hurt and anger. I've cut the cord clean and I am on my way to a much better place. It's a process, but the only way you can get through hell is to keep going.
I don't think I need to do that. I'm not in a world of hurt and anger. Disappointed, for sure, but the way I see it, she just couldn't fight her depression and mood swings forever. The infidelity was her way of admitting defeat. She really did break up with all the men she'd been seeing, and intends to be alone for a while. She just has to get over seeing me move on.