Is it common for her to not push for divorce yet?
My wife and I went through a previous separation in 2014; I moved out to an apartment to give us space to heal. We seemed close to divorce then, but we weren't seeing other people and we missed each other so much I came back. I took some courses, read some books, and over the next year evolved into what I believe to be a great husband. By the second half of 2015 I thought we were doing great. We planned a trip to Italy for summer 2016 as a second honeymoon. But around this time of the year last year, she started talking about splitting again. Her mother calmed her down, and we went on the trip as planned and had a fabulous time. The second half of 2016 was honestly like a dream. So many trips & events, spending time together all the time (we watched all of LOST), talking about what we'd do when the kids moved out, etc. Come December, her mom had a heart transplant and was at the hospital for a month. During this time I was very supportive, and visited her mother often. I felt the model husband, and very much part of the family. But my wife says seeing her mother go through that heart transplant convinced her that life was short and she needed a fresh start. In January of this year she got a promotion, so for the first time she has a viable enough salary to be on her own. So you guessed it - I got the "I love you but I'm not in love with you" speech. She refused to touch me. Trying to keep the marriage and family together, we agreed upon an open marriage. At first, things were good. She was getting lots of attention from guys but hadn't met any of them yet, and was taking out all that tension on me. Our sex life was never better than it was in February. But you guessed it ... once she started having physical contact, she withdrew from me completely and moved into the guest room. I told her to cut it all out; she wouldn't. She moved out and got an apartment.
So she's still seeing this guy or guys - and now she hosts at her new place - but yet this past weekend, I went on a date while she watched our daughter, and she got extremely jealous. Is that normal? She refuses to go to counseling. She refuses to stop seeing her man/men. But yet when I asked to get the divorce over with, she came up with all sorts of excuses - work is busy, she was still buying furniture for the place, etc. Is it normal for a woman to separate but not actually push for divorce? Maybe she's just worried about actual financial independence - I've always taken care of the bills?