Can't move on....help please - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-17-2017, 09:22 PM Thread Starter
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Can't move on....help please

My partner and I decided to separate almost three months ago, when he moved out after 9 years together and a 6 year old son. He is a porn/sex websites/cyber sex addict, liar, and leading double life with many many secrets. The issue is that I cannot stop crying and all the time I feel extremely sad and lonely and scared... I thought I could do this, but now I am not so sure.. it hurts so much, I see him moved on with his life - he likes it that way as I am not there anymore to stop him from his sex activities (sex websites memberships, dating sites memberships, online dating and online sex with women and men from craigslist, sex calls to name a few)... Yet, it hurts so much, my body is in pain, my heart is literally broken... I was hoping he would miss me and he would want to come back... he does not. At least he cares about our son... why can't I move on? How can I move on?? I live in an agony and it hurts...

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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-17-2017, 09:53 PM
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Re: Can't move on....help please

Just so you understand, even though it is a horrible relationship--- he's what you knew for 9 years.
You feel insecure, have low self esteem, etc---- all as a result.

What you're experiencing, everyone has gone through. It is incredibly, soul crushingly, excruciatingly painful.

But you cannot go back to this perverted individual or you will be in pain all over again.

My suggestion is to start a new hobby where you're involved with other people. Find a new church.
Go to singles groups. Check out that "meet up" site.
Maybe even date and meet someone new yourself--/ get this "man" off your mind.
It's the only thing that will help. Shift gears and move forward. You've got your emergency brake on in your life. Gotta move forward.
Please don't go back to the sex addict, even if he wants you. He's got problems.

You can do this!
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-17-2017, 10:50 PM
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Cool Re: Can't move on....help please

He is not good for you nor is what he's actively doing good for your child's well-being!

It is time to accept that you are vast worlds apart and that the good, trustworthy side of him is simply not coming back! Mourn his past that is good, because all that he ever came to present you with was his self-centered, porn addict side!

Get with a good lawyer immediately and have them fully advise you on your property and custodial rights! There is a much better life ahead for you where some faithful man will truly love you for who you are!

So sorry to see you here at TAM, but you have come to the best possible place for the problems that you have been summarily saddled with!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-18-2017, 03:11 AM
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Re: Can't move on....help please

You move on by starting to move on.

Look at the 180 link in my signature block below? That's how you need to interact with him from here on that. Doing this will help your love for him to die.

How often do you see him and talk to him in the last few weeks? How do you know what he is doing? Does he tell you? Are you snooping? Or do you just assume that's what he is doing?

You need to start doing things for yourself and your child.

Do you have friends that you do things with? Are you working out at all--getting any kind of physical exercise?

Do you have a job?
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