Re: she is kicking me out :(
I know where you were coming from with the kids being responsible for the demise of your marriage. It's not true, you and your wife are 100% responsible for this.
Just because you become parents doesn't mean to forget to fill each other's needs! Marriage vows do state to forsake all others for your partner; that includes the kids. You both created a huge crack in your marriage. All her focus went to the kids, house, her hobbies etc. You were pretty much out on your own at that point. Instead of taking action by maybe having to lose everything and in the end gain it all, you drove yourself into work and further alienated yourself from the family you formed.
Sadly, I did the same with the exception that my X husband was your wife and I was you. He made me look and feel like a terrible mother for wanting attention from him when he had to give it all to the kids because they were small and needed him more. That was pure BS and I ate that **** sandwich whole as did you. I started filling in that void too. I worked full time, took another part time job teaching adult classes to women who needed to go back into the work force due to spousal abuse. The shelter and my teaching job took most of my time and left little time for anything else. I loved my kids, but my now X took over that role for almost everything and I allowed it. The only thing I always did, was be the disciplinarian of the two. He was the fun parent. I was the nagging one that wanted them to clean up, finish homework, go to bed early, shower, brush their teeth etc. He was the one that made tents out of sheets, ate on the floor while watching TV and leaving a royal mess everywhere. Oh yes, he didn't have much growing up, so my kids had all the toys money could buy. We did have that: money to buy all kinds of ****.
Looking back and after years of therapy, that right there was the beginning of the end of my marriage because I did the worst thing I could have done to fix what was starting to become what was going to end the marriage 19 years later.
Looks like it may be the same for you, but hopefully not. My marriage finally ended when my X hit midlife and went into full crisis mode. He ran off into the sunset in a silver mustang convertible with a sleazy girl 17 years younger and I had to divorce him in order for him not to take the house, kids college funds, savings and everything else he could.
Good things come to those who wait...greater things come to those who get off their a$$ and do anything to make it happen.