Originally Posted by alwaysconfusedandlost View Post
I haven't left, she just asked me to leave yesterday. My kids don't know yet, i don't know how to break it to them. After our fight, she has been vocal about wanting to go away for a long time (to see her mum), so the kids know something is up but not the details - they have gone into semi-shutdown mode as i don't think they know how to deal with this as well - we're fighting pretty regularly, and she is throwing snide remarks all the time, i can only imagine their stress. The interesting thing is that our fights doesn't seem to impact her interactions with the kids, with the kids, she is always smiles, always laughing - with me, it's the exact opposite - even when we're actively arguing, she can switch on a dime to talk nicely to the kids, and not me.
The reason she can switch on a dime:
It doesn't impact her enough emotionally, to cause any real distress. She is indifferent.
I totally believe she is cheating on you, and has been for a long time.
It would be better for your relationship if she were angry as hell, rather than indifferent.
She's checked out. I'm so sorry.
Good news: you were not with the right person, and your life is being screwed up totally out of your control. You see this as a really bad thing right now. But a year or so from now, you will realize she did you a huge favor.
Please, I know you're totally screwed up in the head emotionally right now. You feel awful. The worst feeling is the helplessness--- I remember it well.
I promise you that your life is not over. Your wife has zero value, unless you GIVE her that value in your mind. You've got to stop giving her all this value--- the first step to healing is acceptance. Accept she is gone and you will heal much faster.
Everything your emotions will have you wanting to do-- texting, calling, begging----- these are counterproductive and will cause you further pain. I'm begging you not to do that.