Originally Posted by alwaysconfusedandlost View Post
do you suggest i give it to her f2f then?
I suggest you never, ever, in a million years send her that or give her this period. You don't get it.
What you are doing (acting on your emotions and trying to nicer her back, win her back, being vulnerable, etc.) is going to have the EXACT OPPOSITE EFFECT of what you want.
Do you beat your wife?
Do you yell and verbally abuse her on a regular basis?
Do you emotionally abuse her by withholding affection, withholding sex, give her the silent treatment, etc.?
From what I've read, the abuser is your wife. It happens because you are spineless and won't handle things until you blow up and then pitch a fit--- which negates your righteous indignation by the fact that you've now lost your temper.
You've got to change alright. You've got to stop accepting her BS and getting stronger.
I have been guilty of blowing up with anger and verbally abusing my SO. That is a WEAKNESS. Having some righteous anger and dealing with a problem in a firm, but respectful manner is a STRENGTH.
Stop being a pushover. Stop sucking up to your abusive wife. STOP. JUST FREAKING STOP.
Are you understanding anything I'm saying? You are likely not a rage monster. You are just not dealing with things and letting it build up until the pressure blows you up and you lose your temper.
NOTHING you have done qualifies you falling on the sword, yet again, due to getting upset with your wife's bad behavior.
Stop letting the feminists on here tell you what a monster you are for pushing your wife. You didn't get violent with her. She was looking for an excuse to make you out to be the bad guy. You are really in a bad state of mind for dealing with your wife.
I don't think you see reality because you have such a fear of losing her. That fear is SO COSTLY, if you let it make you lose your self confidence. I know from experience.