Before I started dating my husband my life was complete and I was happy and had no worries and no negativity in my life. Things have changed in my life and I am not sure if it is for the best besides having a child which is a blessing for me. The one and only problem in my marriage that is a threat is my husbands family and I mean all of them, beginning with his mom whom is the one that started all the trouble with her first visit. Which she never brought to my attention and things just escalated. I have defended myself the entire time as you all know these coward men seem to lack courage and loyalty to the person they marry. At the end of it all, I am the bad guy for standing up for myself. Clearly they cannot handle me. After my apologies to them for a potty mouth they still have not spoken to me nor have attempted. At the end of it all, I could now care less about having them as a family or being accepted by them. Which I think is now bad, because now I am wanting out of my marriage. I will have to find myself again and this time with a child. I would have to learn again. Life is too short for negativity and stress. Suggestions or Thoughts...
Thanks for your message. I'm really sorry for what you're having to go through.
Before I go on, I honour you for speaking your truth in the midst of the challenging circumstances with the in-laws. It's never easy but good on you for doing so. There are lots of women who, in the same situation, would just suppress their feelings and emotions in the interest of keeping the peace but in the long run, it rarely works.
The first question I have for you is - what is your relationship like with your husband? Forget the in-laws for a second and just think about the relationship. Is it a loving one? If you could provide some info here, that would be great.
Secondly, you are right - life is too short but just remember that pain is sometimes a really good thing. It's easy to want to avoid it and think that the grass is greener on the other side, but on many occasions, it really isn't. Especially when there are really important lessons to learn. If those lessons aren't learnt, life has a funny way of bringing in new experiences that serve as a teaching tool until you've passed the test so to speak. I'm not suggesting this is whats happening here because I don't have enough info to be 100% sure, but I have seen this happen a lot though, hence it's important for me to mention this to you.
This is one of those situations where you truly have to honour your intuition here. My guess is that your in-laws will always be in the mix because of your child - am I right?
There also needs to be some considerations of how you are feeling with your husband and the impact it will have on you both should you decide to separate.
Then there is the impact on your child for separating as well. I'm a firm believer that being stuck in a 'dead' marriage can be even more harmful than separating - but if your relationship is actually going well (apart from the in-laws), then that changes things.
So anyway, just some food for thought.
I hope this all makes sense and if you have any further questions, please let me know.