thank God I am not alone - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-19-2017, 03:44 PM Thread Starter
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thank God I am not alone

I am so grateful for these sites it has helped me thru the most devastating situation I have had in my whole life. I met my x 7 years ago when i was a transit bus driver and going thru divorce with my first wife, she is half my age and I now realize that in the beginning my ego had a lot to do with getting involved with her and so we got together and have had 2 children, when we got together I was excited and we spent 6 years together as bf/gf and lived together I fell so deeply in love with her, around June 2016 we got married and 2 weeks ago she walked out to be with an OM I used to work with, I had him in my house and was a friend to him,just thinking about it riles me up and my guts twist into knots, I have been devastated by all this and for the most part have not been able to get past the hurt and pain, pain I never thought possible, however I have spent the last couple of days visiting sites like this one and have realized that I am not alone and I will live through this ordeal, i am mostly a down to earth man and do not worry about much about lifes ups and downs some where along the time with her I lost that ability and it has been hell getting back to that mode. but seeing that I am not alone gives me strength to get back to being at peace with the world again. I hope this helps somebody out there because it has helped me to read that other people hurt as bad as I do and others are as messed up as I have been, what keeps me going is that people tell me I will live thru it and be a better person for it, I thought if she came back I would take her back but now that does not seem like the better option. Now it is just me and the boys and we are doing fine as we can so far. thanks for listening.

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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-19-2017, 04:33 PM
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Re: thank God I am not alone

Good for you OP. You sound like you're processing everything in as healthy a way as can be expected under the circumstances. You are absolutely right that you deserve much better than a woman who is willing to cheat and walk out on her family for another man. It must hurt terribly that he was a friend and even visited your home. However on the bright side, you've just eliminated 2 toxic people from your life.

Remember that while your sons may not like the new distance from their mom, the lesson your actions are teaching them on relationships will serve them well.

What is the arrangement for custody of your sons?
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-19-2017, 05:15 PM
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Re: thank God I am not alone

Your best path forward is a hard 180 with as little contact as possible. Never answer a phone call direct. Text or email only about kids, business or D. Keep them civil and as short as you can get them.

File for D asap
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-22-2017, 10:49 AM Thread Starter
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Re: thank God I am not alone

We i believe are going to have shared physical custody at this time, and share expenses even though she has no money and im not working due to caring for the boys. so my thoughts at this time are scattered an unsure what the future is going to bring, I have talked to my lawyer and he feels I have a good leg to stand on for sole custody. because she walked out. am just going to feel it ut for now see what happens.
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-22-2017, 11:21 AM
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Re: thank God I am not alone

You need to work. It takes your mind off your problems. The courts will rate you higher and more fit regarding custody.

The longer you are unemployed, the harder it is to land a job.

Having a higher level CDL license is good. There are many truck driving jobs out there.

With young kids, you need a local job, daytime, with steady hours.

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-22-2017, 11:34 AM
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Re: thank God I am not alone

Quote:
Originally Posted by gettingthruthis View Post
I was excited and we spent 6 years together as bf/gf and lived together I fell so deeply in love with her, around June 2016 we got married
This seems to be a common [cheating] catalyst here. Cohabiting a long time prior to marriage. Maybe this injures the relationship, sometimes making the women feel less valuable. Once the damage is done...well, here it is in this post.

I know, cheating is never justified. And if not this catalyst, another will appear. But that is a presumption, Eh?

Justsayin?

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
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