e I know I cant hit him. It was out of rage in finding out that he took my kid to her house overnight. I have not done anything like that before or since. He has threatened me with that. Told me he was going to report it an take my kids. He also tries to bait me. Tells me to hit him. I know that is not the answer.
I see him spending money on his girl friend, but I cant prove it. Over Christmas he bought me a necklace that costs $38, but he spent $75 there. I asked him about it and he said he bought something else for me then returned it and they gave him cash back. I dont really believe that. A few weekends ago he suddenly went on a guys night away. He says these are "dudes" "bros", but he spent $120 at a fancy restaurant, and then went to a wine bar. I know is gf likes wine. I also saw her loading her car the day they left, and unloading her car the day they came back (im not stocking her, she lives down the street from me and I pass her place all the time). When I asked him about it he just gets super defensive and tells me I dont have a say, which I guess is true, but it is no less painful.
he is an overspender, buys food out all the time, coffees multiple times a day, weed, goes out drinking a few times a week. It is frustrating when I am trying to manage our money, save for my maternity leave (my company does not pay me for it), and buy things for the new baby.
Our goal is to keep this out of court. We are hoping to handle all of it though mediation and keep lawyers out. I am a little worried about keeping things fair. the deal he is proposing is to sign over the house and car, but he wants $20,000 now and $30,000 later from me. This is money to get a car (we only have one right now), get an apartment, and furniture. He wants $50,000 but he knows I cant afford that now so he would be willing to wait for some of it. He wants to pay me $1000 a month minimum for now until I find a job. That is to cover day care ($750 a month) and other expenses. Unfortunately that does not cover everything, but I dont know if I can ask for more. he says if he had more he will give it to me, but how can I count on that.