The Problem I'm Facing
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Going Through Divorce or Separation A new addition to our forums, a place to go for sharing and support for those going through divorce and separation.

LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 01-06-2012, 10:57 AM   #1 (permalink)
proudwidaddy's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 825
Default The Problem I'm Facing

Short story, going through a divorce, got the "I love you but not in love with you anymore" speech a month ago. Since then I've moved out of the house, living with a coworker, seeing my two kids as much as I can. I'm doing better on a day to day basis, started to go to a divorce support group at a local church. The issue that I repeatedly deal with is wondering/hoping/thinking that at some point my wife will realize that she is throwing everything she has away, and is looking for what she already has. In my mind I have to get rid of the vindictive feeling of hoping her walls come crashing down in the future, that she will realize what a colossial mistake she made. I know that this is not healthy for me to focus on, because if/when it happens she probably won't even tell me. Has anyone experienced this feeling, how did you move on from it?
proudwidaddy is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Old 01-06-2012, 11:18 AM   #2 (permalink)
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 24
Default Re: The Problem I'm Facing

Currently going through it. It's awful. All I can hope for is my wife changes her mind. She is in a very confused place at the moment & myself & the marriage have become one of the "casualties of war" as it were.

I certainly don't feel any ill will towards her but I do desperately hope she changes her mind.

You need to keep busy - which is incredibly hard. Find ways to occupy your mind, even if it's going for a jog or something because the more time you have to think, the more it drives you crazy.
jono is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-06-2012, 11:28 AM   #3 (permalink)
proudwidaddy's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 825
Default Re: The Problem I'm Facing

Yeah the paperwork for petition was filed on Tuesday, 120 day waiting period. It was a punch to the gut to see the reason listed as "irretrievably broken", I don't feel that way but she does. I mentally realize that the last year the woman she has become is not the wife I fell in love with, the person I know. She has become more selfish/vain in what she wants out of life. She had a big weight loss over the last year and a half, so I feel like she feels like now she has to test the waters again. It's a shame she couldn't be happy within the confines of our marriage. I'm doing good for me, I'm going to a divorce support group. The tough thing is we have to talk daily because of the kids, and their are times it seems like when she has a bad day she still wants to try to lean on me for support. Things she says makes me over analyze them, which I know I can't do. That's the tough thing, over analyzing, playing the "what if" game. It's toxic to my system, but I still can't stop myself from doing this.
proudwidaddy is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.
User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
facing reality (long) justkate Coping with Infidelity 7 06-03-2011 08:42 PM
Facing an emotional blur! Help me to see better! SimpleMeasures Considering Divorce or Separation 3 11-24-2010 02:35 PM
Looking inside myself... facing reality. crisis1008 Going Through Divorce or Separation 2 04-18-2010 02:10 AM
Facing divorce bmtgrl Going Through Divorce or Separation 6 02-09-2008 01:30 AM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:

Sponsored Ads

Sponsored Ads

Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:37 AM.

Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.