proudwidaddy

Short story, going through a divorce, got the "I love you but not in love with you anymore" speech a month ago. Since then I've moved out of the house, living with a coworker, seeing my two kids as much as I can. I'm doing better on a day to day basis, started to go to a divorce support group at a local church. The issue that I repeatedly deal with is wondering/hoping/thinking that at some point my wife will realize that she is throwing everything she has away, and is looking for what she already has. In my mind I have to get rid of the vindictive feeling of hoping her walls come crashing down in the future, that she will realize what a colossial mistake she made. I know that this is not healthy for me to focus on, because if/when it happens she probably won't even tell me. Has anyone experienced this feeling, how did you move on from it?

jono

Currently going through it. It's awful. All I can hope for is my wife changes her mind. She is in a very confused place at the moment & myself & the marriage have become one of the "casualties of war" as it were.

I certainly don't feel any ill will towards her but I do desperately hope she changes her mind.

You need to keep busy - which is incredibly hard. Find ways to occupy your mind, even if it's going for a jog or something because the more time you have to think, the more it drives you crazy.

proudwidaddy

Yeah the paperwork for petition was filed on Tuesday, 120 day waiting period. It was a punch to the gut to see the reason listed as "irretrievably broken", I don't feel that way but she does. I mentally realize that the last year the woman she has become is not the wife I fell in love with, the person I know. She has become more selfish/vain in what she wants out of life. She had a big weight loss over the last year and a half, so I feel like she feels like now she has to test the waters again. It's a shame she couldn't be happy within the confines of our marriage. I'm doing good for me, I'm going to a divorce support group. The tough thing is we have to talk daily because of the kids, and their are times it seems like when she has a bad day she still wants to try to lean on me for support. Things she says makes me over analyze them, which I know I can't do. That's the tough thing, over analyzing, playing the "what if" game. It's toxic to my system, but I still can't stop myself from doing this.