stbxh is coming by tonight to "talk"....he called me yesterday and said twice how he can't believe that we are getting divorced next week , the first time I said nothing but when he said it again I said "this is what you wanted"...couldn't think of anything better .He also went on and on how bad he feels and things like that...oh, and he wants to stay "friends"....do any of you have any good ideas what to say if he says these things tonight again and if I know him a little bit he will .
I'd just say thanks don't think it's a great idea to talk or to be friends.
Then I'd say, please don't contact me again.
What a waste of time, all that talk.
You know, he might just want to sit there in close proximity while he talks he can think lurid things and then go home and ....
well, knowing what I know about my stbxh I would not give him the in-person opportunity.
He probably only wants to stay friends to improve his chances with the next lady, the ole 'My ex and I are great friends, I just visited her last week" story. Yikes, don't feed into it.
I think you STBXH wants to relieve his pain and guilt and wants think that you don't blame him. I would think it is a power grab. He still wants to have some input in your life and still be free to make his own choices and decisions. Dollars to donuts he is not coming over to beg for reconsideration, and another chance to work on things between you two. The hate to feel the heavy, I think it interferes with the prowl of the next one. i would suddenly come up with some reason not to meet with him. Everything should have been said already. Don't let him play mind games with you. You are better than that and deserve to be treated better. I should be getting my signed papers this month, and believe me there is nothing to talk about. I don't wish an ill on him, in fact I pray that h is finding what he wanted...but I will not play the forgiving partner who understands it just happened. Never!
thanks everybody for the great replies...oh man, as I'm typing this George Michael's "careless whisper" is on the radio...but anyway , nothing much happend friday when he was here , just talkes about divorce stuff and our cats (he is keeping one and I'm taking Oskar to Germany with me)...but I talkes on the phone with him tonight and I did ask him about this "staying friends and in contact business" and that I think he wants this to lessen his guilt...his answer:"I don't have any guilt" !!! Are you kidding me.....after everything that went down....he also said to stop pushing his buttons after I said that thing with the guilt so that right there tells me that I'm right...unbelievable !!!