Your wife is not filing for divorce. She is still married to you. She is cheating on you. The marriage does not end when spouses move to different houses. A marriage is not over until the divorce is final.
As for you not wanting to file for divorce because you want to reconcile, your filing for divorce would do more to shock her and bring her around to reconcile than just about anything else. Right now she thinks sheís in control. .. this whole bit about her taking you to court for support, refusing to have any contact with you at all shows that.
Right now she could drive up your community debt and then press in court for you to have to pay half of it off. Filing for divorce is a way to protect yourself financially from the damage she could cause you.
You can always stop the divorce if she comes back.
I know that you think she was not cheating before she moved out. She most likely was. The entire scenario you describe is that of a person who is cheating. This behavior is so predictable you can get your clock by it.
[QUOTE=ReadyToChange;541592] So when she files, what can I do to delay the final divorce decree?[ /QUOTE]
You can ask your lawyer to constantly ask for continuances and to do things to drag out the divorce. Heíll know how to do it.
If your wife can get support from you right now without a divorce, itís highly likely that she will not file for a long time. You are the fall back financial plan. If she loses her job she can go back to court and ask the court to hand over 40% of YOUR paycheck to her. And as long as you are still married you will have to. Why would she ever divorce you.. she does not have to see you or talk to you. But she has your paycheck to fall back on.
Take a look at the 180 in my signature block. You need to put pressure on her. The way to do it is to file for divorce yourself and thus show her that you are manning-up and will not let her drain you financially. The more reality can bring into her life, the more likely she will return to you. And if she does not return, you will minimize the damage she can do to you.
I would also like to ask the judge to require us to attend marital counseling if for nothing else but to help me gain closure and some understanding of how she feels and be able to explain my feelings.
Ask your attorney about this. I donít know that they can force her to do this. But itís worth asking if she will so that you will understand what is happening to your life.
Also, when a support order is in place, will this be seen as me contributing to the marital home?
No. Itís seen as your wife getting what is due to her.
We still owe on the mortgage and if we do end up divorcing, I would like to be paid for my share of the equity in the home. We have done many improvements on the home. How do the courts normally handle dividing the marital home when a mortgage still exists? Is the value of the home at the time of separation or final divorce decree used to divide the share in equity?
Either one spouse buys the otherís equity and refinances the house in their own name. Or the house is sold and the equity is divided 50/50 or according to the agreement the spouses come to.
Never, ever, agree to sign the deed over to her but keep the mortgage with your name on it. You would then have no right to the property but owe half of the mortgage. If she refused to pay you would have to pay off ALL of the mortgage but she would have the house. So make sure that if she stays in the house that she refinances it in her name.
Also, are the house payments being made right now? What assurance do you have that she is making them? You need to know whether or not they are being paid. The court could order you to pay half of the house payments while she lives in the house since itís community debt. Thatís another topic that you need to talk to your attorney about.