blondie1

Im SO worried about my sister, they were together 20 years married for 12, the PERFECT couple, thats what everyone thought, then suddenly this week hes upped and left, saying shes put on weight, hes sick of plodding along, he wants to travel the world, silly excuses !!! Is this enough reason to walk on a 20 yr realtionship? He never wanted children so she agreed.... hes ruined her life shes scared, lonley and wising she had a child !!! How can I help her im sick with worry, i hate seeign her like this, shes not eating sleeping, moping about shes crushed, and its killing me to see her like this !! How can i help her move on, shes a very kind and gentle person, but, i can see this taking FOREVER for her to get over We are a large family , close, with 4 sisters and mum and dd so she has lots of support, but hse says shes nothing to live for anymore....HELP ((((

Dellia

It hurts to see those we love in pain. Just remember that it feels like the end of the world for her. She also has to have time to mourn this, just like a death, which it is. The very best thing you can do is LISTEN to her and acknowledge her feelings....when she says she has nothing to live for, don't correct her. Tell her you surely understand how she could feel this way and that you too might feel the same under the same circumstances.
This isn't her focus right now but in time she needs to move forward and reinvent her own life. You can't force someone to return or to love you but you can become a new and better person yourself, and this is what will be good for her to focus on soon.
Best wishes

hesnothappy

Get your sister to join this site,or one like it. When you read and share with others in the same spot where you are or at one time the were in the same spot. To know you are not alone in the hurt heals the spirit. She is devastated and can not even express all the confusion and hurt she is experiencing. But dolla to donuts, she will come across someone on here with a near experience and we share ways to heal and listen until she is ready to take control of her life and live. Wishing the best for your sister...She definitely has a gorilla on her back right now.

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Lexusv

Shaggy

You and she can help her by finding who he's having the affair with. From your description the marriage was good, but suddenly he's rewriting history, blaming her for everything, and moving out.

Textbook affair signs.

Find the OW and expose her and the affair.

Do not confront the OW, instead tell his world and her world about the two of them cheating - especially if she has/had a husband.

If they work together expose to their HR and boss.

blondie1

Thank you for your responses, I have taken them all on board and i have given her the link to this forum ...Shaggy I agree with this as do numerous family members but shes not convinced , as he promised her ?!! hmmm !!

THank u again xx

insomnia255

get her to go to marriage counselling for herself. even though my wife seperated and now wants a divorce i found individual counselling was good for me and helped me cope. Sometimes it is hard talking to close friends and family. If money is the issue the church does it for free