01-11-2012, 03:11 AM
Join Date: Jan 2012
| | Seriously Out of the Dark...Now
This is my first post. I have been reading other's for hours now. What "they" say is true..divorce is like a death. And there are stages..Many of the stories that I have read tonight seem to have a common thread..why is this happening, maybe if I am this way or that way, maybe if I let them hit rock bottom...
I have been married for 9yrs., we have two very young children and are both in our 40's..we started late in life. We have been living apart since the end of Nov '11. The ONLY reason that I am not asking all of the above questions and feeling like my heart is breaking into a thousand pieces is that I went through all of it 4yrs ago with my husband. We had a horrible separation involved expensive atty's the whole works. My husband did anything and everything i.e. slept with hookers, did cocaine, drank heavily, beat me up several times, you name it. That was apx 3yrs into our marriage that I was slowly finding out about most of it. I was so "in love" that I believed him when he said "It was only once. I'm under so much pressure from work, etc.." Very long story short, we got back together. My atty begged me to have him sign a post-nup. My husband (along with his lawyer father) are experts at hiding money, lying about taxes and showing me phoney tax forms (so I don't know how much money he makes exactly), etc...When we separated 4yrs ago I cried everyday. I wondered if he thought about me I liked the pick-up and drop-off with my child even though he never looked at me with "love in his eyes". BTW, when we got married I was the one with the money. So, we got back together..he promised to stop the drinking and go to MC. I got pregnant with our second child. He turned back into the same greedy a-hat that he had been. Now, his threats turned to "If you ever leave me you will be broke and I will take the kids!" I ended up separating from him when his rage and anger turned from me to our oldest son (7yrs). I asked him to leave (had asked numerous times before) "I'm not leaving my "F"ing hse",etc.. I called the police and the next day got a Temp. Restraining Order. He had been telling me for yrs that we were so broke our last fight was over me buying bread and milk...I have since seen our "real" tax returns...he makes in the high 6 fiqures-7. He left me $3 in our joint banking acct and froze all credit cards. I ended up selling things on ebay so the kids would have a good Christmas. He has filed for full custody of the children. I am not worried. My son is a lot happier and just seems more joyous. I am already turning back into my happier self as well. Our little girl is 2yrs old and is always smiling. My story is the extreme. But, when people lie, cheat just plain ol' don't treat you well...That is not Love! I want my children to be raised by a happy mom! I am still learning and love and learn from everyone's situation. Good Luck...You'll get through!