Re: Please help I dont know what to do and feel suicidal
Rumple I have been there,in this exact hell.
not sleeping ,not eating ,not drinking,losing so much weight that i looked like i just got back from survivor,thinking my life is over,not wanting to live,thinking of him24/7,constant anxiety ...All of it...I know that pain.
BUT he left me with a 6 month old baby and 5 yrs old .I had to care for them all alone while feeling like that...it was a pure agony.
I just loved him so much,ready to forgive anything...I was ready to do anything possible so he stays with me...and I did.I did crazy things,things that were really extreme,like begging the other woman to leave him,following him around town to see where he is going..and other crazy things.
My ex is 4yrs younger than me ,extremely attractive,great body,face ,teeth, hair,beautiful blue eyes..lol sorry but just wanted to point this out to you as I see it's important to you and also wanted to let you know that for months I believed I will never be attracted to another guy...there was just no way I would ever be.I was married to him for 10 years and I have never been attracted to another person,it was like when I see him he would take my breath away,in our case we had an amazing sex life,even the day he left me we had sex .
The thoughts of him being with another woman almost killed me and she is 11 years younger than me.Talk about hit on my self esteem.
My ex was not only attractive but was a nice genuine person,very supportive in any way...just a great guy.
The day he left me he turned into this extremely nasty person ,I have never seen him like that.it was awful to see this and as you said i would have preferred him dying then me seeing this.
Well just wanted to let you know that when I finally started moving on I started finding other man attractive,it was amazing.You start looking back into your marriage and as much as I convinced things were great,I could finally see they were not at all.Could they have been fixed...sure ...but he decided to take the easy way out.
Life will go on for you ,you will find other women attractive and her beauty is not everything to a relationship,she doesn't have inner beauty ..you can't see this now but you will.You will grieve for months and i'm so sorry because this is going to be hell for you but you WILL get to the other side and you will see beautiful things.You have a great job,you are still young and will find another partner,someone that will respect you and love you and want you physically and any other way.
Please do not chase her anymore,i did this and is never going to work,let her face reality and if it's meant she might come back to you but you have to let her go NOW.Take care of you ,become this sexy guy that she married years ago,be confident ,be businessy like with her.She will notice ..believe me..I did that and ex noticed at one point.
Be strong for your kid!
Soon your ex will not look as pretty to you to the point where you ask yourself why did you put up with all this for so long.
Im sorry ,you might think that I don't get it that you love her too much but I assure you I am telling you all this because I know.
Please try to eat and now if you're taking meds go to the store and buy Keffir ,they have it at organic milk sections,full with good life cultures and good fat...it'll keep you going.This thing saved me.
hugs and be strong
H. and I married since 2001.Two kids 5 and 1
H. separated from me onDec. 1st 2010Reconciled March 2nd 2011 .
April 24th ,he told me he's been having an affair
May 11 the day he asked for divorce
June28th divorce papers were served to me